We'll never see that pretty face again :-(?
Answers:
As a woman who has been trying for 6 years, I can tell you what not to say.
Don't just tell her to get over it and adopt. You may feel like you helping, but its actually kind of hurtful. For years, we dream of having a baby. We stuffed pillows up our pjs when we were kids. Its a rite of passage and it is a huge blow when you find out you can't have kids. Plus, look at it this way. Do you have kids? What if someone said that you should trade in your biological child for an adopted one? You would probably give an emphatic NO!
Its not that we don't want to adopt. But we need to come to that point on our own.
It took me 5 years to come to the decision to adopt. I had to let go of all the things I had been dreaming of...pregnancy, ultrasounds, finding out the gender, babies kicking, child birth, breastfeeding...and finding out whose eyes or ears the baby has..mine or my husbands?
Yes, we want babies. We want kids no matter what the cost. But telling someone to give up on something that was a lifelong dream is kind of hurtful. We know that adopted babies need love and are just as good as biological children. But again, imagine life without your biological children and put yourself in her shoes.
Also, do not say that she cannot have kids because its not in God's plan. This basically implies that God picks and chooses who can and cannot be parents. But then obviously, there are people with kids who are neglectful and abusive. So, then she is left feeling like she would be a worse parent than those people.
Don't tell her that she is infertile because of something she did. Sounds cold, but people do say it.
Do NOT tell her to relax and she will have kids. This doesn't work. Meditation does not unblock tubes or replenish eggs. Plus, infertility is a disorder, you would never tell someone with diabetes to stop their insulin and relax and they'll feel better.
Don't say that she doesn't need children. This one is just hurtful and obvious in our pronatal society.
Just be supportive. This is a difficult time for her. And understand if she wants to avoid baby showers and young children. The decisions she needs to make, she needs to come to them on her own. So, if she's going to adopt, she needs to accept not having biological children first and then accept the process of adoption.
I would advise against advice unless this is something you have experienced. Sometimes seemingly benign things are hurtful. Just be a supportive friend. Don't withdraw or disappear. Just be there and try to be understanding.
Other Answers:
adopt
adoption is very good.... she might like that a lot. My heart goes out to ur friend! Just be there for her. I know how hearing those words feel, my doc told me that, but by a miracle I have 3 children. Tell her there are thousands of children that could use a great person like her to be their mommy, it's not the same but she can make a big inpact on a little persons life!
Seek another opinion.Doctors are wrong sometimes.If there has been some internal trauma,she can always adopt.There are so many available children that need someone to need and want them too.If there hasn't been any trauma,try prayer.There is power in the tongue.
More Questions & Answers...
- Higher BBT when pregnant?
- is there a way someone can ensure that they have a girl during their first pregnancy?
- pregnancy question?
- when will i know?
- whats oral sex and is it harmful to ur body?
- Please read and answer -- I need help!?