how do you tell your 5 yr.old her best friend just passed away?
Answers:
Wow, that is a tough one, I don't know what to tell you, but I was watching the Lion King last night with my son, and I think you could use that movie as a learning staple, My mom died when I was 13 and I worry so much something will happen to me or my son, but watching that movie made me think, (first time I have seen it as an adult) I thought, wow, this movie is really good for the concept of death, especially the part where Mufasa tells simba about how "all the great kings of the past look down on us from the stars" it can work for friends too. Good luck!
Other Answers:
has she ever had an animal die?
Ouch, I honestly don't even know if I would tell my daughter. I think it may be a bit too much to comprehend this early in life.
I think I would go with the friend had to move away or something of that nature.
Goodluck, it's a rough spot.
well i guesss that depends on how mature she is for her age... does she already understand about what death is? if so then just sit her down and tell her as gently as u can and be ready for whatever response she might throw at you from shutting down to crying hysterically... if not then has she ever had a pet that has died? or another relative? Tell her she was needed to be someones angel so she had to go and even though she may not see her anymore, her friend will always be with her... hope this helps.. its what I would do anyway fo rmy daughter...
just tell her she moved and won't ever come back
Aww sweetie I am so sorry. This is so hard to even begin to approach. Try telling her that her friend has gone to heaven to be with the angels. Tonight when it gets dark, show her the stars, tell her that's where her friend lives but that she cannot come back to Earth. If she misses her, she only need to look to the sky to talk to her.
Corny, but it may work.
My heart goes out to you honey, best of luck to you, Marilyn
You just have to tell her that this happened but make it very flowery and tell her that her friend is in a good place and that God is looking after her now. And that she is witht he angels.
If you have had any pets die it is a good palce to start. I am so sorry to hear about this. It will be a very tough conversation...
just explain to her that her best friend has gone to heaven to be an angel and that she will always be watching over her . my deepest sympathy to you your daughter and the family of the little girl who passed away.
does your daughter know what heaven is? If she does, you could just tell her, that there was an accident and her best friend went to heaven. Or you could tell her that her best friend moved away if she doesn't understand what heaven is. This would be a very difficult thing to do, cause either way her heart is broken. I hope she understands what heaven is. I think that would be the easiest way, also fair for her to know the truth. Let her know that her friend will always be in her heart.
I remember I told my 4 year old that her grandma died. She asked me what that meant and I told her that it's like she fell asleep but will never be able to wake up and she wont be able to see her again. I reinforced that she was NOT in fact sleeping though. I told her it was OK to feel sad but to try to remember the fun times they had and she will live in her heart and thoughts forever.
I think the heaven idea is a cop out personally.
Does she really need to know this..now at this age? This could really impact the girl emotionally... It really depends on your daughter's maturity to handle such significant emotional events.....
That is a tough one. You need to be honest with her and answer any questions she might have. Just sit down with her and tell her the truth. This happened to me and my mom told me she had moved. I heard in school that she had died. I still have not totally forgiven her for that. Even though I know she was trying to protect me. Kids are resilient and even though she is young she will be able to handle it with your support.
children are alot tougher than we give them credit for so just tell the truth and keep it simple. "i've got bad news your friend was in an accident and she died" once you got got past that bit let her ask the questions and keep it honest, teaching about mortality is the best way to keep children safe from harm
That is kind of a tough one. But she will notice that she's not around, and eventually she would ask where he/she was. Just let her know something bad happened and she won't be seeing her anymore. If she asks WHAT happened, just tell her she had an accident. You will find the words to tell her. She might not understand the concept of death but she will definitely know what it means when she can't see her friend anymore. Good luck.
I think you should sit down and have a talk with her about life and death.After that tell her about her friend. Good luck.
I told my 4yr. old daughter about her godmother passing. I told her she had went to heaven. I don't believe she totally understood at the time. She is 5 now and still will talk about her godmother being in heaven. I don't believe in saying she moved away because your daughter might question "why didn't she say goodbye". If she lived in the same neighborhood your daughter would continue to see her best friend's family. My favorite uncle died when I was 6. I was glad my mom told me so I could say goodbye to him at his funeral
actually answer of this que. is quiet tough but, u can say to her that like she has come from the home of god likewise she has gone to meet him for an important meeting.
pls do not insult the memory of his friend by telling ur kid that he just left for another place and is not coming back. tell ur kid that his friend died and though he's not going to be around anymore he'll be in his heart. have a nice day
tell her she lost a friend and be honest only answer the questions asked ...if your religious you can say that every time she hears a Church bell its her friend saying hi ... they mend quickly and at that age the concept of death is scary..... make sure if and only if she asks about you and daddy you reassure her you'll be there that's their biggest fear.... that was how we handled a similar problem ... the main concern was are you leaving? but please don't answer any more questions then are asked... that's the key to helping them..please do not and i repeat do not as others suggest tell them more then asked! any compentent Child Psychologist will tell you the same thing!
Source(s):
www.letsreadclyde.com
I think you need to be completely honest, please don't listen to some of the other answers, don't tell her she has moved away. Your daughter may resent you for that for the rest of her life if she finds out the truth.
just tell him that he is in heaven with god in a better place.
i had to tell my toddlers of a death and was the same as you lost for words and couldnt get throught it without crying.
So, i took a step back to practice (without tears).
Second, I brought it to there level and asked them to sit with me because mommy has something important to tell them.
.
I told them this:
Something happened that he/she got boo-boos and the people couldnt fix it all better.
So, they put him/her in the ground, so, he/she could go to heaven. That your friend can sit on God's lap and he will read him/her stories and play till their mommy and daddy could go up and meet her/him.
And, if they want to ever talk to their special friend just pray and ask God.
Feel free to revise. That was the best i could do without overstepping young knowledge, and making it sound not so sad.
Good luck and Best wishes to yours and their family and so sorry to hear about such a tragedy.
Source(s):
Mom a boy turning 4
2 year old girl and
5 month old bouncing baby boy
Just thinking about this makes me want to cry. I'm so sorry you and your daughter are faced with this...and my heart is with you and the family of the little girl who passed.
You mentioned your older child had a pet that died, and she knew that it happened. Maybe you could try using her experience and relate it. Just tell your little one that there was an accident, and that her friend was hurt very bad. It will be hard for her to understand....but telling the truth is always best. Use your beliefs. If you believe in Heaven and God, by all means incorperate that in. She's in a better place...she is taking care of your older daughter's pet that she lost...she is with (someone else that has passed away).....she is someone else's little angel now.....
One question for you...did the little girl's parents survive? You may have to explain how their daughter doesn't live with them anymore....because your daughter will see them (if they are next door neighbors) and wonder where she is.
Best of luck breaking the news. Again, I am so sorry to hear of the accident. Please take care of yourself...
Have you been teaching your child religion? If so, sit her down and tell her that "(insert friend's name) has died and gone to Heaven to see God", or something like that. My kids are still young yet (27 months and 11 months) so I don't know really what to tell you. This is what I would tell my boys though, if something like this happened.
'Tell her about heaven, when someone dies that's where they go. Then explain what happen, she will be very upset, Let her know how much you love her. You might think about taking her to funeral. I took my little girl and told her they were a sleep, that they were in heaven now. She is 4. This is a part of life, it is hard, but we need to explane this to them to help them understand. Just be there for her God bless all of you.
I told my daughter that her great grandmother "went to Heaven to live with the angels" and that worked for her. But my daughter was younger than 5. At 5 years, she might need something a little bit more sophisticated than that.
This would all depend on how mature you feel she is and what you have taught her so far about life and death. I would reccomend contacting her Dr. and explaining the situation, they could refer you to someone who can help you explain the situation to her in a way that you both feel would be the best way for her to deal with it. They can also let you know any warning signs that may signal that she is not dealing with the news well and that she may need someone to talk to to help her get through this difficult time. This is something that you will want professional input on, since what may be right for one 5 year old may not be right for another...you will also want to know that there are resources there for her should she need them and to have them available to her as soon as possible if needed. I wish you the best and my heart goes out to you and your family.
We're dealing with a similar situation in telling our oldest that his Godmother died. I had the same question about how to tell him and how to let him grieve. I found this site which you might feel helpful? It doesn't really cover how to tell them, but does give good tips on how to help them grieve and how to talk to children so they understand:
http://www.hospicenet.org/html/talking.html
If you are a religious family, you could tell her that so-and-so is your daughters guardian angel, and is w/your daughter all the time. O'm so sorry!! Good Luck!! Also tell her that she went on a vacation to heaven
boy that's a tough one. i dont think death is ever easy for any age. my grandson was 3 when his nanna died. he would see her all the time and new that she was sick. when she did pass we told him that she went to heaven to be an angel. now almost a year and a half later he swings on his swingset and always tells us that he is swinging up to nanna. he has never forgotten her for being a three year old when she passed. he sees her in pictures all the time around are house and often stops to look at her. dont be suprised in how well she may deal with it. i am sorry for her loss and good luck to both of you.
Boy, that's a tough one. I'm very sorry for your loss.
My daughter is also 5 and is actively interested in religion. We read from her bible every night, go to church and sunday school every week, and she asks a ton of questions about God lately. I would approach it from that point of view, saying that although we are all very sad and will miss her very much, God needed her to come to heaven to be with him. We would say a special prayer for her, as well. I don't think at this age they truly "get it", so be prepared to answer the question "Where is she?" or "When is she coming back?" a number of times in the near future. Good luck to you, I can't even imagine how hard that must be.
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