Why is he making messes?

He is 4 years old and he has snuck into my bedroom, while I'm sleeping, and taken powdered eyeshadows and my purfume and dumped them on his bedroom carpet. He is potty trained but twice he has pooped on the carpet behind his bed. Once during nap time and once in the morning. It wasn't an accident he pulled his skivies down and wiped himself with them. I can't leave him alone for a minute because of what he might get into. The bubbles from his bubble bath, on the floor, the bleach cleaner sprayed on the carpet, the list goes on. Should I just place locks on all of the doors and treat him like an infant? At least an infant doesn't know any better. BTW I am a SAHM and he is an only child, so he gets all of our attention. Any solutions?

Answers:
Are there any new changes in his life (new baby, move, new school)? It does sound like he's stressed, angry, and trying to feel powerful. If this is the case, give him lot of extra love and support.

He is getting attention for this behavior. It doesn't matter if it's negative or not, it's still attention. Start giving him attention when he is not misbehaving. Say things like "You did that by yourself! Look how high you can climb! You used so many colors on that picture." These are intrinsic rather that extrinsic ("Good job," stickers, candy) motivators. These phrases are a great way to give attention and great confidence builders. It will also help him to feel powerful.

Hold him responsible as much as you can for the clean up. He can clean up the poop on the floor, and his underwear when he poops in them. Have him spray clean on the carpet and wipe it up. It will become a chore for him and he will learn it's much easier not to make the messes. Don’t make a big issue out of it. Just say “It looks like you need to clean that.”

Use natural and logical consequences when disciplining him. Taking away a toy or privilege when he spills bubble bath on the floor is not logical. Taking away a toy if he throws it or damages it is logical. Cleaning up the bubble when he throws them on the floor is logical. Also, if he damages something in the home, he can do chores around the house or money comes out his piggy bank to pay for the damages. Another logical consequence to spilling bubbles in that he can have bubbles in his bath. You can say "I can't let you have bubble bath. I'm afraid you will spill it. When you're ready not to spill it you can have it back." Wait a few days before you give it back to him.

Get you son lots of art supplies (markers, crayons, scissors, stencils, glue, paper). Set aside an area where he can do art work and his own drawer to put it in. He may become more interested in this rather than making messes with household items. Hope this helps! Good luck!

I would have said he wanted attention. But if you think that's not it, I have no other guess. Hope you find an answer. Good Luck!!!

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Why is he making messes?

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