3yr old only child is about to be a big sis. Any way to help her feel included?

My little girl has been an only child and grandchild until now. I am about to have a little boy and her aunt is going to have a baby too. She seems happy at times, but anytime she gets around my mother she says she doesn't want a baby because things will change. I have talked to my mother, but the damage has already been done. I want to know some ways to include her before and after the baby is born. I want her to get excited again. I have 4 weeks left until my due date.

Answers:
My daughter was also 3 when my son was born and she was only child/grandchild for that entire time AND her aunt was pregnant as well. So she was in panic no one will remember or love me mode-I'm big on letting her feel what she wants and being herself so I literally just let her tell me how she felt so she could feel heard and validated. After that we just talked about how wonderful she'd be as a big sister how fun it would be to help me and that I would really appreciate it. I've found with her if I'm dissapointed she feels awful and if I thank her and am gracious for her help she's so happy! We talked a lot about when the baby came home what she could do she started to get excited because she could help with the baths and pick out his clothes for the day. Once he was born there was a little regression on her part but once she found that we still loved her and wanted to be with her too she warmed up to him-I was worried she might hide him while I was in the shower or something but she'd scoot him close in his bouncer and "babysit" him while I was in the shower-Now he's almost 3 and she's 6 and they are the best of friends. She's a little mommy-teaching him things and singing to him and playing barbies with him-that's funny-her cousins are close to her as well-the aunt that was pregnant had another one in the mean time but Katie learned from having her brother that she's the BIG kid of the family....and that's cool too!

*****************ALSO I heard from someone when I was pregnant-When you see the oldest for the first time after the baby DON'T be holding the baby!! Greet the older one first with big hugs and stuff then show her the baby--Just a suggestion that I used Katie seemed to appreciate it.

Refer to the baby as "your baby brother" instead of "the baby" and tell her about how good of a big sister she will be and have her get involved in baby stuff, like shopping for the baby, and preparing the baby's room. I was 8 when my little sister was born, and it helped to have some sense of involvement in bringing the baby into the family.

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3yr old only child is about to be a big sis. Any way to help her feel included?

Pregnancy & Parenting