Wild Child!?

My daughter is 3 1/2 years old. I am having the worst time trying to get her to listen to me. She doesn't do what she is asked, and she doesn't eat her dinner, no matter how hard I try to get her to eat, all she wants is junk food, sometimes she goes for a long time without eating anything, because I refuse to give her just junk food, I figure, if she is that hungrey she will eat regular food. Sometime's it works sometimes it doesn't.
She is driving me absolutley crazy...
She doesn't go to bed until about on average 11pm, and she just now started to sleep in her own bed. I know she has always been very spoiled as a baby, and still is to this day, but I just have a problem with discipline. I put her in timeout constantley throughout the day, I do not believe in spanking, so if that is one of your suggestions don't bother answering.. , I am a single, young mother, and I want to know what other mothers do to discipline their child. OR reward their child. Thanks so much!

Answers:
So your 3 basic problems are -
* not eating
* not listening
* going to bed late

Not eating.....
Your job as her mom is to provide her with healthy options of different foods to eat. Her job is to decide what and how much to eat. I'd suggest that you keep providing her with healhty options and if possible remove junk food from the house for now, or hide it REALLY well and only have it yourself when she is asleep. She'll learn not to hold out if it's not even there. Try to provide one option at each meal that you know she likes. Make sure you are offering her child-size portions instead of ones that are too big and look over-whelming to her. Praise her if she trys something new.

Not listening.....
Get down on her level, touch her gently to get her attention and then look her in the eye when you talk to her. Say, "I need your eyes" or "I need your ears" or "eyes on me please" when you need her to listen.

If you give her an instruction and she isn't complying, repeat it once and count to three. If she doesn't comply by three, then you get up and walk her through whatever it was and help her do it.

Ditch the time outs. They just DO NOT work for some kids.....especially if the child is an extrovert. Extroverts do much better with someone staying with them and talking to them and working through what they should and should not be doing. It's a hands on parenting approach that I call "get off your butt parenting" which can be very tiring, but it works. It's much gentler than spanking and doesn't involve isolation or humiliation like I think traditional time outs do.

Sleep.....
Does she still take a daytime nap? My 3.5 year old is working on dropping her daytime nap. On the days she does take one, she is often up very late, like 10 or 11:00. If she doesn't nap, she'll usually be asleep between 7:30 and 9:00. Is she still naps, consider dropping the nap.

Do you have a bedtime routine? Bath, jammies, stories, lights out? Something like that which can help to signal time to quiet down and get ready for sleep? Would she go for "quiet time in her room" where she may be awake and playing quietly or looking at books but must be in her bed?

Good books that might help you:

The Discipline Book by Dr. Sears
Kids, Parents & Power Struggles by Kurcinka
Kid Cooperation by Pantley
How to Talk So Kids Will Listen and Listen So Kids Will Talk by Faber & Mazlish

ADDING.....
Just adding one other thought. Maybe set an alarm for bedtime and let that be the signal that it is time for bed. Sometimes kids respond better to that than to a parent telling them it is time for something. "OH.....the CLOCK says it's time for you to go to bed now!"

Well if you don't believe in spanking, be prepared for a long road ahead.

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Wild Child!?

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