How long do kids cry themselves to sleep?
Answers:
I don't think this is a matter of waiting for your daughter to "get over it" and just be quiet to go to bed.
It would be a good opportunity for you as a parent to make going to sleep a GOOD experience. With a well established bed time routine that is very comforting.
I have never let my kids cry it out. When my son was little I stayed in the room until he fell asleep. Every few nights I would be closer to the door, until finally I could leave the room, and he would go to sleep on his own. He knew I was 'still there' even if I was on the other side of the door. When he woke up in the morning, he would come find me.
Healthy sleep habits make for a happy child. Re-think the cry it out thing....it's just terrorizing her. She is still very young and needs security.
Other Answers:
I dont believe in letting a child dry it out..
my baby falls asleep on me everyday then sleeps perfectly in her crib.
i belive in attachment parenting.
Every child is different. My son has been a great sleeper so we don't have this issue. so just make your girl is tired when you put her to bed and her food had time to digest so she doesn't have a gasey stomach or heart burn which kids don't know how to explain to you. Make sure her bed is comfortable and clean and give her a nightlight and maybe a new doll.
You might want to ask her pediatrician or ask her why sh is crying. My kids stopped crying after they left the bottle, right before they turned 1, (my kids are all boys)
It depends on the child. When I was a child, I was always hard to get to go to bed. Good luck!
The main thing is to be consistant, if you want her to go to sleep on her own, then you need to make her do it everytime, don't switch it up and let her sleep with you just so she won't cry. If you do that then she will think that as long as she cries you will come and get her, once she realizes you mean business she will stop and bed times will get easier...
Good luck
Source(s):
I have a six year old
i have 3 girls, and none of them did that. i always tired them out as much as possible before bedtime, so when it was time, they went right to sleep. I might ask your pediatrician though if the problem persists, but maybe she's just not ready for sleep when you want her to be.
Awww pick her up, rock her, lay beside her till she falls asleep, read her a book. I tot tally disagree with letting children cry themselves to sleep. I think that is whats wrong with kids today. Their detached and distant. She will sooner or later go to bed and awake without crying. She is only small once, then when she is 13 you will wish you had them days back!...I know, my baby girl is 13.
Source(s):
I never ever let my girl cry herself to sleep and always was there when she awoke...she is a vibrant, smart, caring young lady! And very well adjusted, no problems with detachment when she was small, etc. Shoved me out the door the first day of kindergarten...lol
That doesn't seem right. You should get that checked out by your doctor. Sounds like she is stressed?
I dont think there is a certain age on this but here are a few ideas that might help.
It sounds like maybe she should go down for a nap a little sooner then you are putting her down. Try making a game out of nap time such as telling baby nite nite, tucking in her animals one at a time and saying nite nite to each one. She will realize she is not the only one going to sleep. Try getting her prepared 30 minutes before actual nap time but sitting with her and having some quiet time before approching the subject of napping. When she wakes up crying , go to the room and pick up her favorite animal/baby or whatever and start talking to the toy about "Oh gosh, you have ALL just woke up!" This will let her know she is not alone in the room and she may start waking up and begin to play a little instead of crying. Good luck to you on this...
It depends on why they are crying. At this age, the only time my kids ever cried themselves to sleep was during a temper tantrum. I don't like hearing babies cry, so at that age I went through the list of possible reasons as to why they were crying.
Checked the diaper.
Made sure they weren't hungry.
Checked clothes for pinching, scratching, etc.
Tummy ache.
And sometimes, kids at this age just cry, well, because they can. If I couldn't pinpoint the reason, I just held them till they stopped or fell asleep. If it was a temper tantrum, usually brought on from being tired, I gave them their space until they were ready for me to help. I would say 90% of the time, we had stress free nights.
some kids can cry for hours but my daughter would do for about 1hour until i put soft music on for her
I agree with most of the comments here. I also believe in attachment parenting, but I found that I had to adjust it to my own needs as well. If I stayed into the room with my son until he would go to sleep I would be in there until midnight (my son is not a big sleeper) So I developed a bedtime routine. I sing him 2 songs (sometimes 3) or tell or read a story. I spend 10-15 minutes in there calming him down. Then I leave. (he is four now so he asks me to come in and can talk but I also did this when he was lititle and couldn't communicate with me) I do this in 10-15 minute intervals. If he is crying a lot I usually go in and sing another song comfort him for another 10-15 minutes and do this until he is asleep. Sometimes I have to do this now, but this is mostly when he is especially wound up or is frightened. When I practiced strict attachment parenting, always rushing right in when he crying he would not go to sleep ever, so because I don't believe children cry because they just cry that there is usually something they need I had to work this belief into a realistic view and goal which was getting my child to sleep. what I found is that routine and repetition is the best and eventually my son started picking up on the bedtime cues and it is most of the time a special time for just us.
at her age she shouldn't be still crying herself to sleep, there's something wrong with this. Maybe you need to establish a better routine to let her know that it's bed time it's time to settle down and go to sleep, I always put my daughter in her pj's read her a book in my lap (with dimmed lights) maybe sang her a song and put her down, tucked her in and always told her I loved her before I walked out of the room (shutting the door behind me). If you set up bedtime as a bad thing or a punishment then you will have resistance, BS to the parents who don't let their babies cry it out, my sister didn't believe in that either and to this day she has her 8 yr old climbing in bed with her wanting to cuddle to sleep rather than just going to bed and falling asleep. I don't know about you but that would kind of interupt time with my husband (if you catch my drift). As far as crying when she gets up, that's normal, they do that until they learn to get out of bed themselves and come to you. It will be different for every kid, but she should start getting up out of bed on her own and coming to you about 3, or for some it's when the baby goes from crib to toddler bed. Also for naps, watch out because some 3 year olds don't TAKE naps, and maybe her crying is her way of telling you that she's starting not to need her nap (my daughter stopped taking naps at three, which my father greatly disapproved of until we spent two weeks at his house, he saw how she was CONSTANTLY jumping off the walls from sun up to sun down, and I still struggled to get her to bed without whining "but Mommy I'm not tired" yeah you may not be but Mommy is exhausted and needs to go to bed and she can't do that until you are in bed!!!). But you know your daughter, you can tell if she still NEEDS her naps (she becomes cranky the same time everyday, and is unbareable if she doesn't get one on time). For naps try forcing her to sit on your lap for about 10-15 minutes, after a while her squirming will slowly ease up, and she'll start to relax, when she does this put her to bed, if she fusses and hollars, ignore it, let her cry herself to sleep, but if you do this EVERY time before her nap (or bedtime) then her body will start to recognize the signs for bedtime, and the forcing her to stay in your lap will help her to calm down and start relaxing, it will be much easier to send her to a nap when she's calmed down rather than picking her up off the floor from running around chasing the cat (or whatever she likes to do) and trying to stuff her into bed. This technique works GREAT for my son, he doesn't have to be asleep for me to put him to bed like this, and he hardly every cries (if he does it's usually for however long it takes me to get to the door, turn off the light and shut the door behind me and then count to three, and he's DONE, if I opened the door then I would find a passed out little boy). Good luck, two is just the beginning of a difficult age of testing limits and all sorts of frustrating behaviors (known as the terrible twos, but I guarentee it's not as bad as when they are 4 or 5, they don't shut up and they are constantly asking weird questions like... "Why do I have to go to ballet?" "Well you don't have to go we can stop anytime you like." "But I LIKE ballet!" "So what's the deal with why do I have to go???") You remember when you were pregnant everyone said "oh but it's all worth it!!!" well this is the age where you start to doubt that it was!!! LOL!
OMG im haveing the same problem with my daughter and she's 33 months old (2 and 3/4 yrs old). she was colicy for the first 3 months of her life, so she use to keep me up and busy all day and night, i got my sleep around 4 in the morning and slept til 11 am most mornings as she got older it got better, she still cried herself to sleep for naps and bedtime, but not as much anymore, at least 3 days out of the week she fights me when it's nap time and she cries (anywhere's from 5-10 minutes) herself to sleep, and for bedtime, she usually falls asleep on her own without crying, but some nights she likes to fight me and she cries herself to sleep for about 5-10 minutes, when she wakes up in the morning, she use to cry for me til i got up to get her and i think it was because i had a baby gate in her bedroom door way, because i didn't want her going down the stairs in the middle of the night and early mornings, i took the gate off her door on her 2nd birthday and i solved the morning crying really quick, now when she wakes up in the morning or even in the middle of the night, she just comes in my room and climbs in bed with me, she doesn't go downstairs!!!! im also starting to figure out why she cries her self to sleep sometimes for naps, sometimes it's because shes hungry or needs a clean pull-up on, wants me to lay with her, over tired, or just dont want to take a nap! and usually when she cries herself to sleep at night, is either because i had company over and she wants to be nosey, she had a late nap and isn't tired yet, might be hungry or thirsty or wants me to snuggle with her! i wish i knew when the whinning crying stops, because it gets irritating when she whines about everything all day, i spend as much time as i can with her when im not working, but when i would like a break for a few minutes, shes still stuck up my butt and looking for my attention!
Source(s):
Fustrated
I can sympathize, I have three year old twins and went through the same thing. I found that if they have a sense of security around them like a favorite stuffed animal or blanket it is easier for them to go to sleep and they still have that security when they wake up. I also check on them about ten minutes after I put them to bed, if they are not asleep I kiss them on the forehead, tell them I love them, wish them sweet dreams, and reassure them that I will be there when they wake up. I've always found that reassurance for a child is the most important thing. The world is new to them and scary, being their "port in a storm" is what makes us MOM.
It might help to change her routine a little. That much crying might mean she's not winding down very well. Try giving her some warm milk, then a warm bath. Wrap her in a warm towel and read her a story while rocking in a comfy chair....all things that are very relaxing for you both. Yawn a little here and there to stimulate her sleep reflexes. If she gets in the habit of falling asleep to a story instead of crying, you'll have a lot easier time when she gets older and starts school.
Depends on the child, if she is just being stubborn, then you may have aways to go yet. If it is something else, then you will have to ask her what is wrong.... maybe she just wants some attention... maybe a few stories after she gets into bed... just keep the amount of stories the same each night.... consistency is the key in the end.
My son started coming into our room at night when he was about two and a half. He was never able to cry himself to sleep because he always ended up getting himself so worked up he would throw up. Now he is three and a half and hardly ever gets up while it is still dark outside!
Let me just say that I feel so sorry for some of the children discussed here! Using the phrase "stuck up my butt" to describe a child is unbelieveably sad to me. I can only hope that responder is very young and will someday understand and appreciate her child as the gift she is.
To answer the original question: "How long do kids cry themselves to sleep?", first of all, they don't. Children need to be taught how to go to sleep. Leaving them to "cry themselves to sleep" is not active parenting. Children don't go to sleep after crying because they have exhausted themselves out and are now ready to sleep. They go to sleep because they have given up and despaired and realize their needs will not be met (by the very ones who are supposed to meet them!).
We need to remember that babies do not have the language to communicate their needs effectively. Even after they have started talking. Crying has been their only means of communicating for a very long time and they will continue to use it as long as they need to. Perhaps your daughter is trying to tell you something as simple as she needs you near her to go to sleep peacefully.
Finally, go with what your heart tells you is best for your baby and you. When you have a moment, check out my resource. I hope it is helpful. Good luck and God bless your family.
Source(s):
http://www.askdrsears.com/html/7/T070100.asp
Wow, there are some very uptight people answering.
First, if you think something is wrong, see her dr--even a little encouragement that you are doing everything right and she is just going through yet another phase will help.
My ped said that kids this age have a hard time settling down to go to sleep. A 15 month old lets you know he is sleepy by snuggling and rubbing his eyes, a toddler is doing laps around the living room (from Parenting magazine). My son started fussing before bed about a month or so ago. If I let him, he would fuss for hours with me going in and out of the room every time he started crying. When he goes down at night, we read a story, snuggle a minute and I leave the room. He fake cries for about 1 minute at most and is out like a light.
We have had problems with sleep patterns from moving and vacationing and had to let him cry. It is perfectly ok for kids to cry. They won't hurt themselves by crying and they won't hate you. If after 10 minutes--or however long you can stand it-- go and check on her. Don't pick her up, just rub her or kiss and hug her and let her know you love her and leave. Try stretching the time out a little longer for every visit. The first few nights are rough, but she will get better at falling asleep on her own.
Good luck!
its different with every child
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