please read all the way before answering...?
When we got full legal and physical custody the five year old had a broken arm. Both the mother and the child told us that he had fallen off of the top bunk. When I asked him in private he put his arm behind his back as if someone was holding him in some sort of wrestling move. There was also strange bruising on the other arm. When we noticed the strange bruising on the other arm we called CPS and they came out and spoke with him but nothing they found "concerning". We have seen agressive behavior from him, he lies, he cheats, he convieniently forgets stuff. He has actually tackled my own son on pavement before. On easter we were at breakfast and completely out of the blue he mentioned my big brother Jason broke my arm by doing this.
Answers:
Just love on him as best you can, let him love you guys and get to know you. The other stuff is over and it seems there is no need to press charges or drag it out. Focus on the child. My stepson was raised by his crazy druggie mom and is doing good now, not perfect but after me raising him for 8 years he actually has a chance at life. He'll never be right, he'll have scars but you need to accept that and accept him. Set his boundaries, pour on love and show him how to be normal. My stepson and biological son are like night and day but they are both great.
Other Answers:
not reading all the way. Can't give objective advice w/o hearing other sides of the story. Try talk to your priest (shrinks are no better and overpaid)
you need to talk to child protection in your town. good luck. try counseling or getting your family doctor to ask him what happened
His behavior, the lying etc. is pretty normal for his age, however, I think you should have him see a child psychologist. A GOOD one! Get references. Also, a doctor could tell you if the break happened by falling and how hard he was falling when it happened. That could be the difference between bracing himself from a 5-6 ft fall or someone actually snapping the bone. The fracture would be completely different. Even if he was pushed down, the weight at which he came down on would be evident if it was truly pursued.
I would talk to a doctor, see if his injury was likely the result of a fall or from the older brother.. If it's from the older I'd ask the doctor for to write out a statement saying he findings and show it to the police and CPS.I would investigate this to the fullest even if you do find out he is lying but just in case he isn't. Maybe the kids were playing and the 17yr old went to far, was scared and they made up the story of the falling off the bed. I would not press charges because sometimes teenagers can go to far with their younger siblings I can not count the bones broken in my family from rough playing. You do however need to make it clear to the younger child that he should not lie about the way he gets hurt and maybe sit both the kids down and discuss your feelings about the situation. wow good job getting him into couneling it sound like this liitle boy needs some help. I don't know if ther is a way to press charges or if you should I would make sure this older brother gets counseling as well. And the mother should be the one held responsible. Good luck with this little boy it sounds like he is going to need alot of help to turn out well.
No I don't think that he is lieing. I would talk to some people at church about this and then see if you can talk to the courts that awarded your husband custody. Something needs to be done. That little boy needs some major TLC right now. And it sounds like his mother is no good too. I'm glad that he is with you. God bless you.
Where is the older brother now? You mentioned the courts gave you custody of the kids, but you haven't once mentioned where the 17 year old is now. Is he living with you? What is he doing? Does HE show agreesive behavior, or only the 5 year old?5 year olds do lie, heck my almost 4 year old lies. Every time something happens, I ask what happened and he says his brother did it. His brother could be in a different city and he will blame his brother. That's normal, of course not right, but normal for that age.
Child protection services are not always the best services around. Especially if he's protecting his brother. Keep an eye on both boys, keep him in counseling and definitely continue giving him love and support. When he mentioned that his brother did break his arm, did anyone say anything to him about it? How about telling him that it's okay to tell you what really happened, nobody is going to get in trouble, we just want to know the truth. It's worth a shot if you havent tried that already.
Good luck!
Child Protection can sometimes be more of a pain than anything, BUT Recently My fiance and I had to contact CPS because his little sister was being molested. We live 1300 miles away from her. Any how we called. If you could get him into a school councelor, CPS case worker (which that one will be near impossible) but at least some type of councelor, they have a way of getting "secret" information and they are VERY GOOD. Most importantly they are obligated by Law to report anything that should cause "concern" and by doing that you eliminate yourself and your husband from being accused of Retaliation.
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