HELP!! What to do with a toddler that won't listen?
Answers:
Been there, done that. First off, you need to take mommy time outs. This can be listening to music for 10 minutes through headphones or just stepping outside for a breather this will return your patience to you when it is needed badly.
Second you need to form time outs for your child. Any time the child hits you, the father or the baby or screams at you she should go immediately to time out, and make her stay there for 2 minutes, even if she screams and even if you have to hold her in the chair. As she learns you can make the time outs longer, but never longer than 5 minutes. She will soon learn that you mean business. Ignoring her will also work. If you put her in time out (preferably a place where she cannot hurt herself or others), then ignore her screaming, sooner rather than later she will learn. Children do not like to be ignored. Both parents should agree so that she can not run to one parent over the other. Also if she causes a scene in the store or erstuarant then take her out and go home. I know it is inconvenient for you, but she will learn that if she makes a scene that the fun is over. Teaching a child to not hit by hitting them is never a good idea.
Other Answers:
lol...my 3 yr old is the same way with our friends 2 yr old, and oddly enough, she's just as mean with the dog...my 3 yr old will walk past the dog just to hit her...
i think they're learning bounderies, and jealousy plays a big factor.
it'll pass, and just keep telling yourself that when that baby is big enough, she'll knock her sisters block off...lol
okay, im only 12 years old but i have triplet 2-year-old cousins and another 2-year-old cousin. i spend almost every day with them. the triplets are very well-behaved but the other one not so much. what you have to do is talk to them and tell them to stop. take things away and lock them in a room or shut them in a room if they wont listen. if she is good, then reward her. but whatever you do, try to stop this or it will get much worse. well u should sternly tell her no
and if she dont listen take toys away
one by one every time she dont listen
and if she hits the baby(or u and dad) tell her its very naughty
and wrong if she dont listen then give her space
to cool off, disipline is the next step
much luck,
Brooke
I personally think there is nothing wrong with spanking your kids. If they need to know they have done something wrong they need to know about it. She really needs to know that hitting mom and dad is not on, you need to spank her. Spanking has a bad rep because some parents take it too seriously and go out of control, if you do it right just so they know something they did is wrong then go for it. She is listening. She is just doing what she want to do. Two's will hit if you let them. Just try telling her that big girls do not hit mommies, sisters, brothers, or babies. You might tell her not to hit you by saying. "We don't hit Mommies." Later when she hits her Daddy say, "We don't hit Daddies." "We don't hit babies." When she can say it back to you after she has heard you say it many times you know that she has internalized the rule. That is when you will know it is time for redirection if she hits again.
Another thing to tell her is hitting hurts. Do you want people to hit you? When she knows that it hurts, hopefully she will stop.Good luck.
Source(s):
Personal experience as a day care teacher of twos and threes.
The first thing you have to realize is that she is jealous of the time she used to have alone with you that is now being shared by the baby.
Always talk calmly to her and explain your actions and reasoning. Include her in activities with the baby. Don't give in to her desires to just have you to herself.
When she acts up in anyway, you need to make sure she understands that her actions are not acceptable. Time outs are good, depending on how you do them. Are you putting her in her room alone? Thus she will start to realize that unacceptable behavior gets her alone time, which is not what she is looking for. Start off with 10 minute time outs, and each time she misbehaves, increase it by 5 minutes. The next day, start over at 10 minutes again.
Don't argue with her, don't yell, don't warn her 50 times. When she misbehaves either warn her ONCE, or just put her alone in her room immediately for a given time. Tell her once she has calmed down and can behave herself, she will be allowed to come back and join the family. Then get her 10 minutes later, ask her if she will behave herself and if she says yes, let her come back. Again, each time she misbehaves, increase the time out by 5 minutes.
It might take her a while to realize it, but soon enough she will begin to understand if she wants attention, then she will have to behave properly.
Just one suggestion.
time out, time out, time out, time out . In a designated time out spot. Consistency with it. Even if it takes you 2 hours to get her to sit there for 2 minutes she will see that you are serious and aren't gonna give up. After a few days all you will have to do is tell her to go to time out and she will. Rule of thumb is 1 minute of time out per year the child is old. Good luck!
Source(s):
mother of three now 18, 19, 22.
If my last was my first he would have been my only.
time outs won't work on a child that seems ALWAYS busy. my oldest, time outs worked fine (still do!), but my middle child...WOW, world class temper tantrum king! nothing worked, time out, spanking, distracting him...when he lost it, he just lost it.
what i eventually ended up doing was picking him up (kicking and screaming the whole time), took him to his room...and put him on his bed. i left him in the room, i didn't say anything to him, i just left him there to yell to his little hearts content.
if he came out of the room, he went right back in. eventually he got curious why i wasnt paying attention to him...and he would stumble out of the room teary eyed, hick-up crying...but in good order.
sometimes kids just need to vent their frustrations. they can't talk it out like we can, so they yell. have you ever had a day where you were SO ticked off that you couldn't verbalize...you just screamed and hit things?? (traffic jam, fired at work, gained two pounds overnight!) well imagen if the only way to express that was through tantrums.
she might be jealous, yes. OR it could be something else. has your schedule changed with her a lot since the new baby?? do you and hubby love on the baby together first...then her??
perhaps sticking to a schedule will help her feel more grounded. and splitting up attention helps alot.
my hubby and i do that with our new daughter and our sons...he will take the boys to play ball while i play with my daughter on the toddler playground...then i will take the boys to the duck pond, while my hubby plays with baby.
its hard to divide up time between two kids...esp. when they are as young as yours.
she might even be ready for a play group, for a couple hours a few times a week. it helps her socialize among her peers..so she will learn how to "behave" around other children.
i would suggest not having her around the little one when she is fussy, since you dont want baby getting hurt.
i promise they will grow out of this stage! though it will seem forever in coming.
dont worry every mom of more than one knows how hard it is to keep all the little ducks in a row!
edited:
Don't pay any attention to what suequek said. EVERY 2 yr old ive ever met screamed or hit at least once. either she doesnt have any children, or the one(s) she had were freaking PERFECT...i highly doubt that...so maybe she's just full of hot air. either way...it IS normal.
what has always helped me is-
counting to ten before i react to anything negative or "bad" my child does.
sit her on a bed and sit there with her till she stops being bad and relaxes.Everytime she tries to get off of the bed you grab her and put her back on the bed till you think that she is ready to go out with the baby.If she screams, she screams. If she cries, she cries.A babys got to learn what a babys got to learn.
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