Why is my daughter doing this?

I spank my daughter and when we go out she tells people "My mommy hits me" She went up to my neighbor today and told her this and I was like "Hey, do u think people are going to save you? Is that why you are telling people that I hit you?" I was furious. Why is my child doing this to me? I'm afraid she might tell the wrong person and I could get in big trouble for spanking her, but my whole life all I've known is spankings and If I dont spank her she will grow up with no fear or respect for me, what do I do.

Answers:
Kids say the darnest things...lol......gotta love 'em.

Well, somewhere she has picked up on the fact she should tell someone if something happens to her...Its on tv every day about abuse...
She is young so she is not about the difference.

Next time she says that, say.."yea, baby and if you do not obey Momma I will have to do it again."
Then sit her down and explain about how her puppy would get hurt if it heads for the road and does not obey her...

We just have to be creative and I do understand the "telling the wrong person."

You are a good Momma and you are so right about the respect.
I come from the old school that they will NOT respect a Living God either unless they realize there are consequences to pay.

Other Answers:
You need to sit down with her..and tell her WHY she get's a spanking. And tell her if she keeps telling people that you hit her, she's going to get another one.

take her toys away You should try to speak to her about her feelings maybye she have some difficultys.

She's probably doing it because of the big disagreements between spankers and nonspankers. She may have heard another person say something is wrong with spanking. You have to tell her you do it because you love her.

Thiscoolguy, you want to get into that? Hell, I graduated with a 4.0. I was spanked as a child....hmmmm

AND to the idiots saying spanking makes a child fear their parents: Where do you get your information? I never feared my parents. I could tell them anything growing up. I moved out at 17. Moved in with my boyfriend at the time so I could graduate from the school I chose. When I got pregnant, I NEVER feared what my parents would say. I had no reason to. Sorry, but I get really heated about this. It's none of these people's business. When their children grow up and end up in jail, they'll be complaining that they didn't spank their kids.

she is doing it becauseshe realizes it gets a rise out of you. She is looking for attention, and is getting it. you mighttry turning of the tv and making her stand in a corner for ten minutes instead of hitting her, since it doesn't seem to be doing any good. Taking away privilidges will affect her much more than a spanking. Keep on doing what your doing. My son does it too. Don't worry about her telling the wrong person. My son went up to a police officer and said it. THe officer said then you probably did something bad and turned away. It may also be her father needs to take more of a role inthe discipline too. She may only see you doing it so she thinks that its not right. It's really hard to get into their heads at that age.

You need to explain to you kid why you are spanking her and what will happen to you if she tells the wrong person. Explain to her the difference between spanking and hitting. She sounds like a little brat, and she isn't showing much respect for you as of now. Be stern with her in your words.

All children hate being spanked by thier mom's. She probably doesn't understand the true reason your spanking her. Tell her and she will understand. When i was i kid i didn't like spanking and always told people my mom spanks me, so they can make my mom stop. But that didn't work. Than my mom told me she spanks me so i grow up with no fear, and i respected her and didn't whine when she spanked me. Tell her how you as an adult how you feel. And share your feeling with each other. Tell her you do it because you love her. It may work out.

its not right to hit your children. why do you want your child to grow up with fear of you?? i've never been spanked im 15 and have a 2.84 gpa and have plenty of friends. i have a great relationship with my dad since i live with him and my mom lives 10 miles from here and i have a great relatinoship with him. take this from me being 15 when i see kids i know who were spanked sitting inside on friday nights because they are scared to tell there moms or dads where they are going and livin in fear or being a normal teen. wow, i understand your frustration.
maybe you're spanking her too hard. and you should have a talk with her and tell her about your childhood and how you used to get spanked too. if you tell her that all children get spanked once in a while, then maybe she'll just think it's normal, nothing speacial to talk about. and i think you should tell her that "good little girls don't get spankings at ALL". do all of this very calmly and be nice about it, have a smile on your face.
good luck, hope this advice helps

Kids are different these day with our generetation, don't use the old rules and philosophy to her. Try to keep her close to you and talk to her more, her behavior shows she is smart and she can talk to you... and one more you can talk to a family consultant at your area to let you know the best way to teach your child what to do... If this child is under 5, it will be hard to reason with them. I hope you're not spanking a child under three b/c all you're doing is teaching them to hit. As for her telling other people that you hit her. I'd refrain from hitting her in public. I find the threat of what's to come at home works very well. As long as you don't physically injure her (ie bruises, broken bones) you shouldn't worry about getting in legal trouble. Spanking is not illegal. Over the top physical harm is however. Good luck!

well in my opinion, if you are afraid of getting in trouble for something you do, you shouldnt be doing it. i mean think about it, wouldnt that be something you tell your kids:"If you think you are going to get in trouble for doing that, then it is probably bad and you shouldnt be doing it"? there are other methods of disciplining children that work much better than spanking them. your child should respect you but NOT fear you. my suggestion to you is to stop spanking and try something else. there is a parenting class called love and logic parenting, a lot of school districts offer it for free. you should take it, they give you many effective solutions to solving problems with children. look into it.

Your child is telling people that you hit her because you hit her. Technically spanking is hitting. So if she tells people that then you clarify and say I spank her. If they still have a problem with it, there's not too much you can do about that but so long as you aren't leaving marks there's not too much they can do about you spanking her. So cover your butt when your hitting hers and don't get too carried away or you'll be in trouble. Also she is more likely to go around saying those things if she knows it scares you so if you want her to stop act like its no big deal. Laugh it off and say yeah and I'll spank you if you do it again too, right in front of them. She'll see she's not impressing anybody and drop it after a while.

First of all, no child should FEAR their parents!! i dont know where you got that one? they should respect there parents, but also be able to feel comfortable enough to come to them with problems or if they may have done something they know is wrong. if they fear you, they wont want to come to you with things they have on thier mind b/c they have the fear of getting spanked or you getting too mad before you just try talking with your child about it. maybe you should talk to your daughter about why she is saying it and explain what she is making people think and that it could get you into trouble. but also take a step back and think about how hard or agressive you are spanking your child. there are other ways of discipline ya know!
Source(s):
myself How about this: DON'T SPANK HER. Just because you were spanked it doesn't mean it's your only parenting option. Your daughter will respect you more in the long run when she realizes how easy it could have been for you to use physical intimidation on her, but chose a more compassionate discipline technique. Secondly, why on earth do you want your child to fear you? Don't you want to be the one she trusts to tell important things to? Fearing you is only going to make her HATE you once she reaches adolescence. (I'm truly hoping you're not giving a teenager spankings.) That loathing will translate into rebellion and soon she'll be doing everything you only had nightmares about.

I would buy several parenting books and read up on child psychology. Maybe if you understand your child's thought process discipline won't be such a difficult undertaking and she'll more readily accept her punishments.
Source(s):
I have experience with children and I've grown up with friends who turned out bad because their parents used physical punishments on them.

Talk to her about why u spanked her about what she did wrong and if she doesn't do it she won't get spanked. Also tell her some more examples of things she shouldn't do that would get her into trouble, so she can figure out what to do and what not to do. Also explain to her why she can't go tell people that. She is still young and it will take some time but she will learn. well just sit her down and tell her why she's getting a spanking she probably dont understand why but, what ever u do dont ask her "do u think someone is going to save you?" You might make her think she needs to be saved thats going to make her more scared and she'll start asking ppl randomly to save her and then theyll ask why and u know what her answer will be... u dont have to spank her 24/7 but u can slap her on the hand, it depends on what she does, i come from where u come from the spankings and those time outs dont work what i find that does is taking everything away from them, and i mean everything i had to room so clean once when i was raising my little cousin, he just sat there because there was nothing to get into, and ill do the same with my new son when he gets to that age, if he's messing with something he shouldnt be, ill take it away no matter how much he cries hell find himself sitting down with nothing to grab but just talk to her she should grow out of it

Tell her what will happen if she continues telling people that. She will get put in foster care where NOONE will love her, they won't feed her and they'll lock her in a closet. And she will NEVER see you again. That's what I had to do... harsh yes but that's the truth.

obviously the spankings are traumatizing her
( but you actually said HIT )
and YES she is looking for someone to save her.

You need some paernting skills to learn so you can raise your kid properly.
There is a big differance between RESPECT and FEAR.

Your just teaching your kid to FEAR you.

First of all, ignore all these self-righteous preachy know-it-alls who discourage corporal punishment. Sometimes that is all that gets through to a child. My brother was that way, my parents tried everything, taking away priviledges, toys, tv shows...never worked. He wasn't allowed to watch a HUGE list of shows for 2 years because his behavior never improved. But, whaddaya know? One good smack to his hiney and he immediately acted better.

And what is with people bringing GPAs into this? I graduated high school 6th in class, with a 3.85. I was also raised to respect the paddle. Any mental problems I sustained from childhood were from ACTUAL abuse (and not by my parents' hands, either). Let me tell you, coming from someone who's actually been abused, spanking is NOTHING. That is not abuse! As far as "permanent damage" goes, my boyfriend was spanked with Hotwheels tracks as a child. Those things leave welts up and down your behind and do not feel good to be wacked with, but he's the most mature and normal person I know.

I think the world needs to butt out of people's business and stop telling moms how to raise their kids. If you're not leaving bruises, you're doing fine. You can try other punishments, like time out or taking away priviledges, only after experimenting will you know what works best will you know what the best method will be.

As far as your daughter telling people she hits you, maybe you should play that game with her. When you go out and see friends of the family, tell them loudly how she's been acting up. Give her a taste of her own medicine and embarassment.

There are other methods of disciplining your child. Yes you can get yourself in hot water by spanking your child to much because the wrong person who hears you are doing this might call the authorities on you and over caring social worker might come to your door asking questions about how you raise your child. One man here in Canada had that happen when someone reported him to the authorities while he spanked his kid in public. I would suggest in all honesty take some child rearing courses as soon as possible. There are other methods beside spanking that do work like time out which you will learn how to do in parenting classes or get a book written by one of those famous English Nannies that come to American household and try to reshape how these parents tend to deal with everyday life in their household before these families become number one dysfunctional family in the country. Damn, what's with all the preaching?

I say keep on spanking her, if you tell her not to do something and she does it anyways, spank her. You told her not to do something specific and she did it anyways.

As for her telling folks you hit her, tell them why you did it. If they still have an uninvited opinion about it. Tell them it's none of their business and walk away.

I've been through it before, eventually they let it drop.
Source(s):
life

you need to let people know when you spank her in case some one calls protective service.make sure you let the people around you know she is making things up.

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Why is my daughter doing this?

Pregnancy & Parenting