How do I stop my 5 year old daughter from being so clingy?
She followed me all thru the house grabbing on to my shirt until we left.
I don't want her to be that needy person when she grows up, what can I do to make her more independent, like the senator she'll grow up to be!
Answers:
Is this something new? If so, she could be stressed. Are there any changes in the family (move, new school, baby, family problems)? If this is the case, give her as much emotional support as possible. Empathize with her.
Give her as much positive attention as you can. Do not use intrinsic rewards ("Good job", stickers). Instead use extrinsic rewards "You did that by yourself!" "You worked on that for a long time!" "Look at all the colors you used!" These words are great confidence builders.
In order for her to gain some independence, give her lots of choices within your limits. "Should we have pasta or chicken for dinner?" "Should we go to the park or have a picnic?" "Should we go now or in 5 minutes?" She should start to feel less needy and gain some independence.
You can also give her notice before you leave ("Daddy needs to go in 5 minutes") and maybe spend a little quality time together before you leave (read a story, give some butterfly kisses.) Good luck!
Other Answers:
Are you for real? She's five, she loves her Dad -- be grateful! Be clingy back! When you're not in too big a hurry to pay attention to your child make her the exclusive focus of your attention every once-in-a-while. You may find that she, eventually, will be less demanding of your attention.
I spent all the time I could with my two children when they were that age, and have always considered it one of the best things I've ever done!
I think you have the right idea at the right time. If you buy into her constant requests for attention, she will see a reward in behaving desperate and clingy.
I believe she's old enough to understand a basic explanation of what's going on (she's going to school, etc), and emphasize the positive in the experience, like you get to play with your new friend Susie! Connect with her, like you know her nervousness and understand, but (and this is my note to you, not for you to say to her) life moves on and it won't help to sit and cry because you can't have what you want when you want it. She will likely go into a tantrum or crying spell to test your limits. Continue to reassure her you will be back that night or whenever, and everything will be okay, in fact she will have fun and make new friends.
Make sure she doesn't "win", meaning alternate plans are made because she's freaking out, etc. Once you play into her emotional manipulation, it's the beginning of your relinquishing your parent-role, and letting her dictate your behaviour instead of the other way around. Be strong! This is just disappointment, not death. Imagine all the other disappointments she will face. This is just the beginning. You can do it! Be firm, loving, and caring.
Source(s):
I've grown up with disappointment, but nobody there to coddle me. I turned out strong. Most women I know are much less secure, and need a man or someone to take care of them because somebody always has and they never consider a life of their own. It's actually very sad.
Do not take this the wrong way but if the clinging has just reoccurred lately it COULD be a sign of abuse at school or elsewhere..............
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