Am I crazy?

I have a 2 year old daughter Very Very Active! I was diagnosed with ADHD when I was a kid, and she is just like me. So I am assuming she has it too, no big deal. Well I don't like to spank her, don't get me wrong I spank her when she needs it, but When possible I perfer time out, or talking to her!or different types, EX: she pours a drink on the floor, she cleans it. Well everytime I call my mother-inlaw , (when she has her) and ask her how she was, she gives me a whole list of things she has done. How do I make her realize, She is ADHA and is not going to be as good as the other kid, but there are ways to handle the behavior. EX: She does have a biting problem, well she told me she bit 2 kids, she put her in the corner, 2nd time whip her, and told her if she did it again she was getting out the paddle. That really upset me. Whiping her is fine, but I would really like her to not use a paddle. Am I crazy, How do I tell my mom and her I want us all to usethe same methods of punishment

Answers:
I came into my step sons life when he was 8. They had just diagnosed him adhd. It was a big change from my 2 children and my step daughter. He is now 11 and they have him on regular dosage of medicine. But as your child is 2, they won't diagnose her until later, which means no meds for a while. But the main thing is to give love and understanding, and tell your mother in law that if she wants to keep the baby that she has to follow your rules and keep consistent with your forms of punishment. And tell her that if she can't do as you ask that the only way she can be around your daughter is to be supervised with you there.

Other Answers:
Tell her that she should give Time Outs only.

YOU are the parent... so be firm with your mom, its YOUR responsibility not hers, and this is how you would like her disciplined... etc etc... it's your baby so you better let her know what you will and won't tolerate her doing as forms of punishment. you should also look into some type of counseling for your baby. well not really counseling but classes or something. most kids with that have to stay occupied.

Tell her timeouts only or she can't come over, cuz it's confusing her at home.

just talk to her...YOU ARE THE MOTHER!

You tell your mother that YOU are the child's mother, and that YOU have the final say in how the child should be punished. And you say that if your wishes aren't respected, you will reduce the amount of time she gets to see your child. Explain the disorder to your mom, and explain that what she is doing is not appropriate or effective.

If you're relying on your mom to look after the child because no one else can, you can't assert this as strongly as you can if she's just looking after the child to spend some time with her. From experience I know the only way to get something to do with the baby through grandma's head is to be stern and clear. Otherwise they'll just assume they know better and do what they do anyway.

Good luck!

I haven't had a child with ADHD, but I have 2 kids, one that is very, very active and mischevious and believe you me, I have been around and around with both my mother and my m-i-l. I am no doctor of psychology either BUT, I find that saying no ma'am just once and really firm, not hollering, helps but if she goes right back after it or bites again, distract her, move her onto somehting else to do and doing this repeatedly should at least help. As far as the whipping at 2, I didn't believe in spanking at all when I had my first child and didn't have to but when my son came I changed my thinking on spanking because he deserved it but not until he was over 3 and should know better by then. If you are married and you and your husband believe in the same forms of punishment and you would rather your mom or m-i-l NOT to do the spanking, pose a united front to all involved. That to may take a small amount of time and re-enforcing but it has really helped us and has really worked. My son is much better behaved now that he is 5. I keep my niece who is 14 months old and a really stern "No Ma'am" to her really does the trick, she likes to chew on power cords if that tells you anythign about her behavior. Hope this helps a little. i know it sounds harsh but some things adhd for example i have to say are made up and are being used as a get out of jail free card by parents and children.

kids hear parents talking about it and think alright i can do whatever i want

parents see their kids going nuts and think well they have adhd theirs nothing i can do.

I went to public school with a kid who had been diagnosed with adhd. got away with everything all the teachers let him wild. got to grade seven brad stepped out of line ONCE the teacher (who was normally a very nice kind person) i want to say yelled but i dont think that explains this voice "YOUR NOT GETTING AWAY WITH THAT CRAP IN MY CLASS NOW SIT DOWN!!!!!" brad was the best behaved kid in the class that year and his grades went up. next year we had a teacher with less of a backbone and he went back to failing everything.

So bassically lay down the law explain this is what is expected and you will do it. If you know anyone who was in the army talk to them about how to project your voice my teacher used to be a sargent so when he yelled it put the fear of god in you

Tell your mother-in-law that you will not allow anyone but yourself or your husband to decide when your daughter is spanked. She is welcome to use timeout but that is it. Also tell her that you understand that any 2 yr old is difficult to handle but one with ADHD can be too much for those not used to it. Therefore you completely understand if she would prefer not to take her until she is older and has learned more control. Better still, tell her that you have decided that it would be better if she did not take her again without you until she is older. You are her parent, plus you're experienced with ADHD. Tell them that your methods of punishment are what should be used, no exceptions!! Explain in detail how you want your daughter handled. If they can't handle it then I wouldn't take her over there without your supervision. Also, try talking to your doctor about ways you can modify your daughter's diet to help with the ADHD. My brother also has ADHD and my mom took out most red dye and sugar and he behaved a world better. Good luck and God bless!!

I think you should or any family members automatically think she has the same as you just because she has bad behaviors. My suggestion is you bring her to a counselor and bring the mother in law with you. Have you ever head of ODD. It's stubborn personality. There's a lot we don't know. We should seek help from professional or educators about parenting.
Source(s):
Wilder Foundation

My boys called me the torture queen when they got older,but here it goes. My youngest had adhd there for I know you cannot punish them for long or they just forget why they are in trouble. I used to put a chair backwards in front of the tv they can hear it but not see it. Start at 5mins. if they turn around to look it's another 5. After punishment ask them why they were punished if they give a good answer hug them if not explain it to them then hug them. Hope this helps.Oh and tell your mother-in-law if she wants to raise another child to have one of her own till this is your child your rules.
Source(s):
Mother for 23 years Mother-in-law 1 year grandma 1 month

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Am I crazy?

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