3 yr old daughter REPEATEDLY hitting/pushing 1 year old daughter.?
Answers:
She sees the baby as an obstacle, an intruder, a competitor. But you know that already.
3 year olds have very little empathy, if any. I wonder if you've tried relating the little one's behavior (goofy or sad moments, funny habits) to the bigger one as in "Y'know you used to make the same silly face your little sister does when you ate green beans!" or "Jessica cries just like you used to when Daddy and I get a sitter and go out for the evening". Somehow relating the little one's experience to something the 3 year old has experienced (and remembers) can start her noticing that she's not the only one in the world with feelings ;). It's worth a try.
Buy her some books. There's a whole section on sibling rivalry, even among and for little ones like yours. Talk to her specifically about anger, but put it in terms she can understand ... ask questions about her feelings, don't preach (or at least keep it to a minimum. It's hard not to sometimes, I know). Use hypothetical situations and role play. Give her the emotional vocabulary she needs to begin to articulate her feelings. Require that she "use her words" when she gets angry or aggressive, instead of her hands. Follow up on consequences. Be consistent.
Remember that when she hurts the baby and you get angry with her and yell and spank and everything else, she's still getting what she wanted in the first place ... you. It's a successful strategy for her. She'll take you any way she can get you. Reward her with more of You when you catch her doing it right. Remove yourself from her (but don't necessarily run to the baby either) when she digresses. You are teaching her how to handle anger by the way that you handle it. If you fly off the handle and go crazy nuts, she'll think that's how it's done. Share your feelings with her every now and then. Let her see you resolve your own anger productively. Be conscious of your own behavior and set the example.
Good Luck! :) You're not going crazy ... your daughter is not a monster ... you're a great Mom for caring enough to tackle the problem. Call your pediatrician if things seem to be unduly escalating or injuries are becoming more severe. But most likely, this WILL pass and she'll turn out to be her little sister's biggest protector.
Other Answers:
Your 3 y/o is jealous, she only sees the attention you are giving the 1 y/o. Try including her with every thing you do with the baby, she'll begin to feel more responsible, and let her make her mistakes, your overprotection of the newborn is just making it worse.
jealousy, try to involve the 3 year old in everything u do with the 1 year old, when the 3 yr old hits the younger one, tell her it isn't right to hit, ur hurting her, tell her u won't let anyone hurt the one yr old, and u won't let anyone hurt the three yr old.
Source(s):
parenting book.
Punishing would not help in this case as the older child is jealous, try giving her more attentionand love.Do ensure that she is occupied with colouring books or other activity.It is normal for sibling to fight.
Listen, hit her with a BELT ok?! dont be so weak stop the talking and reasoning. Shes not going to listen....What you do is get the belt and tell her if she hits the 1 yr old one more time you going to hit her with the belt and make her smell it (that imtimidates kids) if she hits the babyhit her with the belt hard enough to make her stop. this may sound harsh but it works trust me my older cousin is the same way with her son and he listens after the first time.
Give more attention. One quick point, not that this can be cured that easily, if you are hitting your child or she sees hitting she will model it. This is partly due to social learning theory (look up Bandura and Bobo doll experiments) If you show her how to love and cuddle the baby she will model this behaviour instead. It will work for the dolly, the dog and the baby
Don't lsten to anyone who advocates vilence or agressive behaviour of any kind toward children. It is wrong and never works. Trust me and the many others who have been researching children's development and behaviour for the last 100 years. Show her how to love the baby
Keep up with the methods you're using. Your 3 year old probably doesnt even understand that when she pushes the little one, she can actually hurt her. Try sitting her down and telling her that she's hurting her little sister. Explain that shes such a "big girl now" that she can accidentally hurt her little sister. Tell her that because she's older, you're counting on her to protect her little sister. This should add a dynamic or responcibility. Make sure to reward good behavior. Other than that, give it time. She'll grow out of it. I was a 'fall down' kind of kid myself and no one accused my mother of beating me and I doubt anyone would think that of you with two active little girls. Any mother knows scrapes happen.
This may sound really mean , but I'm a really good mom and I love my kids dearly. When my 3rd child was 3,he also did the same to his 1yr old brother.He was alot bigger than the baby(out weighed him by 20 lbs).I tried it all like you have,but nothing worked.So one day I got really mad b/c my baby had a bleeding cut on his forehead, and I pushed my 3yr old back.Not hard,but enough for him to fall on his bottom.He started crying and I explained to him that everytime he pushed his brother,I was gonna push him.I asked him if he liked being pushed and he said no.So then I told him thats what his brother felt like after he pushed him.Now,this wasn't an instant cure-all,but after about 5 times,he got the idea.
Now,the baby is 4 and beats up everybody else
Source(s):
4 kids and plenty of experience
that's why its not good to have kids so close together in age just because they become very jealous & that becomes a big problem in the house hold for others. all i can say is involve both in what ever you have planned for that day & let your 3 year old know that you need a little helper & you can be her helper as well when you go out on outings you 2 can pack the diaper bag together let her help bathe the 1 year old. let her help dressing her things like this will help her shes just jealous & feels as if shes left out on everything that goes on there at home. she needs to feel more secure as part of the family which i know you are doing your best as a mother you can only do so much. i'm sure you are not the only parent out there thats going through this. my 10 year old is jealous of his sister & shes 22, not living at home how funny huh? he throws it up in my face you love her more than you do me its not that i tell him your sister does not live at home & i miss her & i want to spend all the time i can with her when she comes to visit he understands but theres always going to be a but somewhere down the line. {good luck}
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