how can i control my 4 year old son?
Answers:
Stop using time out. They only cause resentment and are shaming to a child. It sounds like he gets even angrier when in time out. Time outs are a way for you to control your child but not a way for a child to learn self-control. Try and use logical consequences whenever possible. Taking away a toy or privileges when your son misbehaves is not a logical consequence. Taking away a toy if he throws it or is destructive with it is logical. These are some other examples of logical consequences. If he makes a mess, he cleans it. If he breaks a toy, it goes in the trash. If he damages something in the home, money comes out of his piggy bank or he earns money doing things around the house to pay for the damages. Let the punishment fit the crime.
Another technique you can try when he is misbehaving is this. As soon as he misbehaves, get down to his level and say "I don't like when you (explain what and why)." Take him gently by the hand and put him in a spot in your home (his room, the couch.) Say "When you're ready to (listen, stop, behave) then you can come back with me." This is not a time out because you are not giving a time limit (you controlling him). He returns when he's ready to control himself. You may have to take him back to the spots a few times before he gets the message. Thank him when he behaves. Keep it up!
You can also give him a place to scream or something to hit (a pillow). Take him to this place when he starts up and say "You can (scream, hit) this. Come back when you're finished." Also let him know that you do not want to be around him when he does this.
Find ways to help him learn to express himself instead of lashing out. Say things like "I can tell that you are (upset, angry, mad, hurt, frustrated). What can we do about that?"
Notice him when he is not misbehaving. Say things like "You worked on that for a long time! Look how high you can climb! You used so many colors on that picture!" These are intrinsic motivators rather than extrinsic rewards ("Good job," stickers, candy). These phrases are great confidence builders.
Set limits, follow through, and offer choices, not chances. "No" should mean "No" the first time you say it. Say "Yes" as much as possible. Be patient and consistent. Good luck!
Other Answers:
watch supernanny
alternativelly kick him with a sharp shoe and stomp on his neck till he stops breathing
Poem by Kahlil Gibran
"Your children are not your children.
They are the sons and daughters of Life's longing for itself.
They come through you but not from you, And though they are with you, yet they belong not to you.
You may give them your love but not your thoughts. For they have their own thoughts.
You may house their bodies but not their souls, For their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow, which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams.
You may strive to be like them, but seek not to make them like you. For life goes not backward nor tarries with yesterday.
You are the bows from which your children as living arrows are sent forth.
The archer sees the mark upon the path of the infinite, and He bends you with His might that His arrows may go swift and far. Let your bending in the archer's hand be for gladness; For even as he loves the arrow that flies, so He loves also the bow that is stable."
Sounds to me like you need to get that child to a psychologist. Why does a 4 year old have THAT much anger? I've never hit my children. I have an 18 year old boy, a 13 year old boy and a 23 month old daughter and I've never spanked them or had to put them in "time out" or sit in a "naughty chair" (from Super Nanny). I'm not saying they've been perfect, because they HAVE misbehaved at times. I'm saying that I have dealt with the problems as they came up. But your child seems to have an issue with anger. I would have it checked out before it gets worse. Good luck !! :) Don't make him sit for just 5 minutes, do like twenty at least. The best physical punishment is simply restraint, preventing him from moving around.
HI I HAVE A 6 YEARS OLD AND 4 YEARS OLD CHILD THEY DID YHNAT TO ME IN SAME AGE WELL I TALK TO THEM AND LET THEM KNOW THAT THAT WHAT THEY DOING IS NOT GONNA WORK IF HE FIGHT BACK I GIVE THEM SOME FUNISHMENT THAT VERY LEGAL I SEND THEM IN THE CORNER FACING THE WALL AND TELL THEM TO THINK ABOUT WHAT THEY DID AND IF THEY DID NOT LISTEN I GRAB A BOTTLE OF HOT SAUCE AND SHOW THEM THAT IM GIVING THEM A TOUCH OF A HOT SAUCE IN THERE LIPS IF THEY DONT ACT PROPERLY IT WORKS BECOUSE ONE TIME I ACTUALLY GIVE MY SON A TOUCH OF A HOT SAUCE IN HIS LIPS AND HE NEVER DO IT AGAIN BECOUSE I ALWAYS SHOW HIM THE HOT SAUCE AND HE KNOWS WHAT IS FOR
just check that these tantrums dont coincide with a drink or food they have just eaten as food additives can do this to some kids.Also make tasks into games more oftenSource(s):
nurse
I am 44 years old my dad would smack me and i learned. Give him a good smack in the mouth if that dont work tie him up in a closet you can always buy a cage or something and leave him in the basement for like 8 hours a day
and if he's good you can throw him a slab of ham or something
I was having this exact same experience with my four year and wondering what I was doing wrong as a parent. I was at a loss. I tried everything that other people told me- short of spanking- and nothing seemed to work like it did on other kids. It wasn't until I was given a book called Raising Your Spirited Child and its handbook-found at most book stores- that I finally found some peace for both of us. I didn't realize how much temperament of the child played a role in raising him. I learned that some children have higher adrenaline rushes among other things and it takes them much longer to calm down. There are a lot of great techniques to use in this book that I feel might be very helpful. I hope you give it a shot at least to see if you can relate to the children and parents in this book. just ignore him walk outta the room when he does it.if he dont get attention he;ll get over it
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