4 year old concerns?
1: HE HAS BEEN PEEING HIMSELF LATELY. HE STARTED PEEING IN HIS BED AT NIGHT AND JUST GETTING UP IN THE MORNING AND CHANGING HIS UNDERWEAR, NOT TELLING ME. I HAVE NEVER PUNISHED HIM OR GOT UPSET SO THAT IS NOT WHY HE WOULDN'T BE TELLING ME. HE ALSO KEEPS PEEING JUST A LITTLE IN HIS UNDERWEAR WHILE PLAYING OR SITTING THERE WATCHING TV. HE GOES AND TELLS ME "MY UNDERWEAR ARE WET" AND CHANGES THEM. I ASK HIM WHY HE DID THAT, HE SAYS "I DIDN'T MEAN TO". I HAVE BOUGHT HIM THE BEDTIME PULL UPS FOR BIG BOYS BUT I DON'T WANT HIM TO THINK IT IS OK TO PEE THE BED CAUSE HE IS WEARING IT.
2: HE WON'T EAT! HE HAS LOST WEIGHT AND IS LOOKING A LIITLE TOO SCARY. I HAVE STOPPED WITH THE JUNK FOOD AND ONLY OFFERED HIM MEALS (MAINLY ONES HE LIKES) BUT HE WILL SIT THERE AND LOOK AT IT ANS SAY HE ISN'T HUNGRY. HE ONLY WANTS JELLY TOASTS AND POPSICLES. I NEED ADVICE...PLEASE...NO BAD MOMMY REMARKS PLEASE!
Answers:
The cause seems pretty simple. His environment has changed and he is trying to adjust.
First thing to understand is that you are now his full time Mommy. I mean by that that he is accustomed to obey the daycare personnel during the day.
He may not be telling you because he doesn't want to disappoint you, not from fear. You need to let him know that wetting the bed is unacceptable behavior. Also show him how you find out, aka doing laundry, so he knows that trying to hide it doesn't work. My sister uses pull ups on her kids and it seems to me that it takes them much longer to potty train than mine did. Instill in his mind that "Big Boys" don't wet the bed. Most importantly, cut off fluids 2 hours before bed time and make sure he empties his bladder before he goes to bed. Once he wakes up dry routinely the accidents should stop. Ensure that you praise him when he does not wet his pants. I think the hardest thing i had to overcome was my children being so buzy playing that they ignored the signs until it was too late.
If he is not your only childe, he could be looking for attention because of a younger sibling. Without knowing your situation, dose his father, or another father figure live in the same house? If so have him take your son potty and teach him how the "Men " do it. Men don't wet their pants.
As far as feeding him goes, make it a rule in your house that he must eat what is made for meals PERIOD. Do not cave and make him special food. IT WILL ONLY GET WORSE AS HE GETS OLDER!! I also tell my kids that they need to show respect for their mother's hard work spent cooking for them. If my kids don't eat their food it is left on the table. When they come and complain they are hungry we point them to their cold plate on the table. If they don't eat what we feed them then they go hungry till the next meal. It is not abuse or neglect if a kid misses one meal. It is trianing the kid to obey you and that you don't get everything you want. Do not be afraid to tell him NO. I have 6 children ranging from 12 years to 4 months old. They are well fed and eat what is provided for them. If you want to give him the opportunity, let him have a special treat after he eats the food you provide. That is up to you.
Be his MOM first and his friend second. this will give you the most success.
Other Answers:
SEE A DOCTOR! he could have bladder problems or be really sick.
For crying out loud!!! Take the kid to the pediatrician! Don't rely on perfect strangers on the internet. I would take him to the pediatrition about the wetting. He may have a small bladder problem.
About the eating, offer lots of small heathy snacks throughout the day that you know he likes. My 7yr old went through a faze where she only at bread and dairy products. We had cheese sandwiches every day for a month.
If this is all new behaviour then there is an under lying cause that he is too young too articulate. New people around?? Starting school?? If this goes on much longer you need to get him to a professional to see if they can dig deeper for the cause. Okay, here is some honest advice about both of the concerns and seriously they have both worked.
1.The peeing problem, first make sure he goes to the bathroom every night right before going to bed and the same right after getting up in the morning. Then you tell him that if he doesn't stop peeing in his pants/underwear, you are going to not let him wear any and he will be bottoms naked in front of everyone. Tell him to come to you when needs to go.
2.About the eating problem, just don't force him. If he doesn't want to eat, then don't make him. But also make sure that he is not eating anything else (like candy, cookies, or soda). Whenever he is hungry or he asks you for something, offer him a meal and offer it to him on time. Tell him to wait until it is appropriate (like lunch time or dinner time). He should not be eating meals/snacks randomly throughout the day as much as he wants (that is a very bad habit, dangerous for his metabolism, and future eating habits and severe weight problems come out of this)
If he doesn't eat at all, then just wait. How long can he go being completely hungry? I can tell you it won't be long before he will eat what you want and he will eat when you want.
Let mother nature's built in reflexes kick in. Use them to your own advantage. You will be surprised how self-conscious a 5-year old can be about being buck-naked in front of everybody and experiencing true hunger is NOT very pleasant at all.
Remember don't promise anything which you won't acutally do.
Try these for about 1-2 weeks. If the problems still persist, then see a doctor as soon as possible. There might be something wrong here which he cannot control.
The first one you should see a doctor, many little boys have this problem and it is medical and not behavioral. It has something to do with the growth of their bladders. So I would have him checked out before you worried about trying to correct something that he or you might not be able to correct.
The second thing,..I have heard and learned from my two small ones. The only thing that stimulates and toddlers appetite is growth. IF his body does not need it he wont eat it. However if he is losing weight again I would get him to the doctor. You can try making the food fun too. Like using cookie cutters for sandwiches or letting him help you make his food.
The fact that you are concerned over these things is proof positive that you are not a bad Mom. None of us knows what the heck we are doing with it comes to being a parent all of the time. :)
Best of luck
I have 3 kids my oldest just turned 5 in april. My sister has 6 her oldest is 11. I would say from my experiece is that with the eating thing its just a phase it may seem to last forever but if your too concerned take him to the doctor. I would try that ensure for kids it has a bear on it. It helps them gain weigh. My in law had to do that with her daughter she was way underweight. Some say its just the heat. They dont feel hungery when its hot. I agree with that b/c i never get hungery when its hot. My kids do this every so often i am actually going threw this with my 3 year old. i ask him what he wants. When we shop let him pick some stuff out. with in reason of course. Tell him if he eats say a ham sandwich or something of your choice he can have something of his choice. he dont have to finish it but at least a few bites. My doc. told me that as long as they drink theyre ok if you get too worried take them in. I did that with my daughter and they wanted to do a spinal tap on her i refused. turns out that is just how she is. She is going to be small. and dont have much of an appitite. on accasion she eats alot but rare. its just who they are. If you do take him in make sure your ready for what they might tell you. Because i wasn't my daughter is healthy and i would have regreated letting them do that to her just because they didnt; know.
As for the peeing. i think this is a growing up phase. The lady that runs the day care that my kids go to potty trained my 3 year old and told me that putting pull ups on kids is just like a diaper they cant tell when they are wet. its best to use underwear. My son has been having accidents as well but i think is just because he is too destracted with what he is doing then he wets himself. my daugheter did the same thing. I noticed that its mainly when they are really interested in what they are doing. and i made a rule for no big drinks before bed. they can have a small drink but not a whole cup. that is just asking for a wet bed. but if you are concerned seek dr's advice. I say pay attention to what they are doing when the accident happens. you might see a pattern.
Good Luck!!!! :)
aaaw. that's sad. No way, you are not a bad mother. You should definitely take himto a pediatrician but also...maybe he's depressed. boys need to play with other boys their age. if they don't it affects them negatively in a lot of different ways. I was potty trained at 1 1/2 so i never peed my bed but when i was his age, i was the same way: I refused food. why? bc i had no friends. we came America nd we had no family, and my parents worked and i was so lonely. even kids get depressed. make sure he has plenty of play time with other children to work up an appetite. Then see how much he'll eat.
Lady, that is the best advice you will get. Don't let this go on any longer. You'll regret it.
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