How do I get my 22 month old to pay attention when I speak to him?

My 22 month old son does not talk and refuses to listen to anything I say. When I call his name for a diaper change or a snack, or anything, really, I have to say it an average of 18 times before he even looks at me. After that I have to repeat my request many more times before I get a reaction out of him. Sometimes I just get fed up and go get him, at which point he throws a tantrum. I have tried being calm, I have tried explaining things to him, I've tried yelling, ignoring, even squirting him with water. Nothing is working. It seems like he's constantly in trouble and I hate the way that feels. I have a 10 month old and am expecting again in November - I just need to find a way to get Aidan to listen so my days aren't so horribly stressful. By the way, his hearing is fine.

Answers:
My son has ADHD, and I am not suggesting that yours does, but here are a few things that worked for me.

Take his Face gently in your hand and bring it around so that he is looking at you.

Speak clearly and in short sentences.

Avoid double and triple barrel instructions like go here AND do this AND then do the other thing AND.... ( he didn't remember everything.)

Be firm. Expect to be obeyed. If he doesn't, there should be consequences. (work this out with the other people in his life. Consistency will help.)

This is an age where kids try and test boundaries. He is trying to let you know he is not a baby anymore. Being a big brother just confirms that for him. You could try telling him that you need him to be a big boy now and that he needs to be helpful.give him a bit of extras responsibility and a LIMITED amount of control over his environment. Reward him with that 1 on 1 time that they all love. I know you do that already, but it is the bet and cheapest reward there is. You can also ask your other half to help with the reward ( if he isn't working all the time) and have some male bonding while you look after the little ones.

You have so much to deal with right now, and so does he. He just can't let you know any other way. You will make it. Promise

Other Answers:
Maybe he has a learning disability you should go to your pediatrician seriously! Good Luck!

I would get your childs hearing checked right away maybe it is not his fault and he just can not hear you, try touching his shoulder to get his attention before you speak I have a 19month & a 3 month old. She has temper tamtroms but she does respond to her name. I guess she they aren't the baby anymore - they act out in a way to get your attention. By him not paying you any attention, he is getting all of your attention. LITTLE KIDS are smart!!!

Have you considered that your child may have some hearing problems? Calling him 18 times is a bit much, even for a highly active toddler.

You say that his hearing if fine, maybe he's just selective. If my daughter is REALLY into something, she doesn't hear a d*mn thing I say. I learned a long time ago, if they want something or need something that they will let you know.

Good rule of thumb.

Your schedule revolves around your child NOT the other way around.
Source(s):
Mom of 4, daughter of 9

lots of experience

spend some quality time with him--one on one. leave your 10 month old with daddy or grandma or a babysitter and take Aidan out for some mommy and son time. he probably resents the 10 month old sibling and that there's another on the way. your yelling and getting angry makes him think mommy doesn't love him anymore. sit him down and reassure him in a calm loving voice that you do love him and are not replacing him in your heart with new siblings. get down on his level when you talk to him so you don't overwhelm him with your size. get him involved in the care of the 10 month old and helping you prepare for the new baby. allowing him to place his hand on your stomach when the baby kicks and explain to him that it is his brother or sister telling him hi. even take him when you go to the doctor for a sonogram. let him see the baby in your stomach and again tell him it is his baby brother or sister. when he understands that he's not getting 'replaced' then he'll start behaving and listening.
he almost two--why don't you and Aidan go out and choose a potty chair together. tell him it's time to be a big boy and learn to use the potty. give him things to do to make him feel grown up--but don't over do it.

hope that helps some. good luck

From your updates, it seems to me he may be shy...Yu should however stop using signs with him, and when you know he can see yuo and he can definately hear you talk to him with out facing him...He is into hanging out with yuo and gets routine time with you so try breaking that up, let him play independantly have him experience the sense of Mommy isn't hear (yelling, nagging, asking of, ordering what a toddler would think).If he watches TV limit his time let him watch interactive TV shows , like Dora the Explorer, Blues Clues, a show that will encourage him to participate and talk..Trust me your child can talk he just needs to be given the space and time to express himself.Don't try forcing him or coaxing him with a treat, it will delay his speack as he will expect a treat to speak afterwards...Best of all be silly..Ex...When he's around dress up as him do my socks go on my hands , if no answer wear them on your hands, and explain why you think they go there, and tell him you are right, this will definately intrigue him to speak up and give him some laughs...Ask if he wants to go to the park if in expression you can tell he wants to go have him help you get things necesary together in order to go to the park, ask him to tell you what you need , if he doesn't , pack a toaster, see if he corrects you and PRAISE him for any effort...Always smile and if yu get PISSED patience lost, always always, go down to him hug him and let him know you love him...
Source(s):
Me, 6 yrs Teacher at a Dayschool, 2 1/2 year Nanny of 5, 3, 2 year olds Girl, boy, girl..
And experience in making shy children come out and different language children to leave sign interaction to speaking...

I agree with MaMa, your child is very very very very clever. He gets you to call his name 18 times before he even looks at you, he ensures that he gets your undevided attention. Maybe because when he got a brother/sister he realized that the world does not evolve around him and he have to invent ways of making sure that it does. Remember for a while it probably did. But this does not mean that he does not need help. Maybe you can take him to a play therapist (I'm one that's why I say this) and she/he can help him and you and his father to make him feel secure in your relationship. Congratulations for being such a hands on mom, and not listening when others try to tell you that your child is fine. You know when something's wrong. I bet he also hates the way it feels to always be in trouble, but he does get attention for it. He needs to learn how to get attention for other stuff and that it feels better then. Good luck! Try HANDLE: http://www.handle.org/

We have one here in Olympia WA. Likely insurance will not pay. They will listen and they will help. FOllow your own feelings on this one.

We had a child here tha we called Handle to help us with. I have the video tape they made of the session, in fact.

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How do I get my 22 month old to pay attention when I speak to him?

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