My son wants me to baby him....?


My 4 year old son Brian wants me to treat him like a baby, and I do mean like a baby. He wets his pants on purpose, telling me if he was in a diaper, his pants wouldn't be wet. He also purposley falls out of bed, trying to get me to put him in a crib. I have accomadated him somewhat by letting him use a pacifier, and I was sorta forced to put rails on his bed. But he is relentless. What do I do?

Answers:
YOur son is doing this fo rthe attention. And if he issists on doing it let him to a degree. I would take away the pacifier. He is way to old for that and if he hasn't used one in ages it is just something he wants. If he has been potty trained before now when he wet his self tell him he can either change his pants himself or walk around in wet pants. also let the consequences follow him. If he chooses to keep the wet pants on, don't talk to him about it. Don't let him sit on the furniture with wet pants, and he can't go anywhere in wet pants. Let the natural consequencees happen as well. If he leaves them on then he will get a rash anywhere the urine and wet clothes touches.

Or you can give in to the diapers. And let him know if he wants to be a baby then he gets treated jut like a baby. No big kid foods, just mushed up baby foods.(spinach, prunes, sweet potatoes, nothing good) He can't play outside, cause babies don't play outside, He can't have friends, babies don't have friends. He can't go out with you and his daddy, cause only big boys get to do that. Make being a baby such a rotten thing he wants to be a big boy.

Put the rails up on his bed and do the things you need to to keep him safe. But don't let him run the house like he is now. You can also take away big boy priveleges when he acts like a baby. Like you want a pacifier, then you don't get to watch TV/Movie. You want to act like a baby then no outside play, or video games. Basically make life misserable to be a baby and enjoyable to be a big boy. Don't give rewards for doing big boy things, because that is what he should be doing. Just tell him how proud you are of him when he chooses to do big boy things on his own. Good Luck

Other Answers:
he's just trying to get your attention by acting this way...dont let him have his way...

You should take him to child therapist. Or spank him so he understand not to do it again. Obviously he is old enough to understand that he is not doing what he is told. Sign that kid up for the United States Marine Corp. That will teach him!


For one thing, take the pacifier away. Accomadating him in any way will not help. Start rewarding him for doing "big boy" things, like helping out around the house. See if you can get him involved with a play group his own age. Does he have younger siblings? He might be craving the attention you give them. Offer to do "big boy" things with just him, like playing with legos or going to the play-place at mcdonalds. Let him "help" care for younger siblings, so that he is involved in their lives but not jealous.

if none of that works, try nanny 911
http://www.fox.com/nanny911/


I would ignore him when he wants to be treated like a baby. Don't give in and don't let him revert back to old behaviors like the pacifier. If he continues to wet his pants and fall out of bed, I would take away some of his big boy privileges. All kids have a price, what is most important to him? What's his favorite thing to do? Find it, chances are you already know, and threaten to take it away. Then when he tests you, do it. He needs to know you are serious. Be tough, kids learn quickly, give him a couple of days warning and say "Right! on Wednesday/Thursday your going to have to start being a big boy" Chat with him about what it will mean over the next few days. Stick to it and don't give in or he will try it on forever.


Show him no attention when he falls out of bed. If he wets his pants, tell him he'll just have to walk around in wet pants all day. Don't let him use the pacifier.

OMG I know he is only four but he needs his little butt wipped! If you don't do anything about his behavior now you will be sorry when he gets older!

Be strong! Who is running the show anyway? I would talk to his doctor ~ maybe he/she could suggest some reading materials or some websites you could check out on child developement/behavior. Good luck! NO...DONT DO IT GIRL CAUSE WHEN HE AS HE GETS OLDER HE WILL KEEP TRYIN LET HIM KNOW WELL BIG BOYS GET MORE AND JUST TRY TO CON HIM LIKE WHEN HE DOES THINGS SAY WHAT A BIG BOY AND THINGS LIKE THAT REWARD HIM FOR DOIN BIG BOY THINGS AND IF THAT DONT WORK GROUND (YES GROUND A 4 YR OLD) DONT GIVE HIM THINGS HE LIKE LIKE CANDY AND TREATS LET HIM KNOW HE GOTTA BE A BIG BOY AND IF HE CRY LET HIM CRY IT OUT DONT GIVE IN TO IT CAUSE YOUR LETTING HIM KNOW ITS OK START SPANKING HIM CAUSE HE IS OLD ENOUGH TO KNOW BETTER AND THINGS LIKE THAT THROW AWAY HIS BABY STUFF LIKE THE CRIB AND PACIFIER IF THATS HIM IN THE PICTURE HES ADORABLE TAKE MY ADVICE BEFORE U BECOME A PARENT UNDER DISTRESS...
Source(s):
HURRY ITS NOT TO LATE !!!


first of all lay down the law then call some councelor or something

start giving him incentive like stickers or toys or a movie or something if he goes a whole week using the potty....if that doesn't work, check with your doctor or also you could check with social services -- they aren't only for chasing down bad parents, they can offer some really helpful advice sometimes too. :) good luck.

Have you recently had another child or do you babysit for an infant? It sounds as though he feels if he were an infant he would get more time and attention from you. Or, maybe, did you recently go back to work? He may feel that if he were an infant you would have to stay home with him. My opinion is maybe if you spend more time with him doing things that only "big boys" get to do, like playing outside, riding bikes, etc and you show how much more you enjoy those things than feeding a baby or changing their diaper and how glad you are he is a "big boy"... and not acknowledging the "baby" moments (of course help him change clothes when messes pants, etc... but don't give negative or positive attention to the situation), maybe he will start to feel that being his age is better than being an infant. Tell him things like, I love when we get to talk. When you were a baby you couldn't tell me if you were happy or sad. I love knowing how you feel.

Just needed to add that after I read some of the other responses, I realize that many people's first reaction is to punish for behavior such as this, but children aren't trying to be bad at this age with this sort of outlandish behavior. They have made a connection between the behavior and you. They only want love and your undivided attention. Positive behavior produces positive behavior. Negative behavior produces negative behavior. If you like read the article found here: www.naturalchild.com/guest/rue...


well stop giving in to him first off. he's not a baby, and your letting him get away with this is not good. your "accommodating him, is reinforcing his idea that you will give in and he will end up getting all he wants. Take the pacifier away! Do not tolerate his wetting his pants, punish him when he does, no TV, time out, no dessert something that matters to him. Give him the bad parts of being a infant-take away his toys, cause babies cant play with toys that appropriate to his age, give him only things an infant can play with, place him in a play yard. i think if he stops getting the perks of being a 4 year old, and the bad of being an infant again you will have a true 4 yr old soon. stop this asap. Is there a younger sibling who is getting more attention, he could be acting like a baby that he sees getting more attention? Whatever you do, don't give into him. You should give him attention, but treat him like a 4 year old never like a baby. It will benefit him in the long run. Punish him if he doesn't listen, it is ok if he doesn't like it that's the point. Take some toys away or something like that, you shouldn't spank him though.


Take the matress off his bed & put it on the floor so he doesn't have far to fall & won't hurt himself. Try to ignore his behaviour, he will stop wetting himself eventually, either because he is fed up of being teased by his peers or he will be fed up of being uncomfortable. You just need to be very patient & as stubborn as he is. He is just going through a phase & will eventually snap out of it when he realises he is getting no attention from it. Take the pacifier off him too, it's not good that you gave into him like that. I know it's going to be difficult seeing the little boy you love so much being so upset but always remember you're doing what is best for him. He'll get over it before you do.

is there a new baby in the house? If so there are things you can do to make him the big boy agian. If not then I would try to find out the reason he wants this. There is a reason he wants to be a baby and you need to address the problem it's self not the symoptoms. It could be anything: a big change at home that has made him insecure, so he is reverting back to the time he was most secure, maybe something with a babysitter...I don't know but if it doesn't pass like normal kid activities do (you know: how they are into one thing one day and something new the next) then I would take him to a CHILD theripst or talk to his doctor to make sure this is a normal child act, and not something underlying that needs to be addressed. If there is anything there, it can fester and cause problems down the road if not properly addressed.
Good luck
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Tips to be a big boy agian with a new baby.
Give him LOTS of positive attention. When baby is napping make speical time for big boys only. Give him activties to help you being the mommy IE bring a diaper, wipes, even help hold the bottle. If breat feeding try to express for a feeding to let him join in. let him hold the baby for a second. And most of all let him know how much he is going to get to teach the little sibling, b/c he is the older brother.

Nicole, You have your hands full with a master manipulator who is only 4 yrs old. WHY? does he want to be a baby? That is the first thing you need to find out, and a good therapist may be the answer to finding out. Second you need to set yourself a mindset that this cannot continue, and follow through. He is seeking attention from you in a way that he thinks he will get it, even if it means being a baby again. He must of felt very loved and secure as a baby to want to regress back. The fact is though HE is not a baby and cannot continue to act as one and mature on schedule. The therapist will help you sort through this quickly and give you ideas on rewarding positive "big" boy behavior and consequences for "baby" behavior. Though others on here think that spanking him is the answer, I do not in this case. (I do spank my own kids). Whenever my grandson (age 6)reverts to baby talk, I ignore him till he uses his "BIG" boy voice, and he is quick to catch himself. His behavior is a result of too many "homes" before grandma adopted him 3 yrs ago. It is going to take some time to readjust his behavior, but with your support and that of a good child therapist I think he will do wonderful. Good Luck! Use logical consequences. When he wets his pants, hold him responsible. Let him change his clothes, clean the mess, put on dry clothes. If he falls out of bed, he sleeps on the floor. Don't give him attention for these behaviors. Give him attention when he acts his age.

You can also try and go way overboard in treating him like a baby. "Babies cannot ride a bike, swing, play games, watch t.v., feed themselves." Tell him he is not allowed to do some of his favorite things because babies cannot do them. He will get bored and soon start acting his age.
Source(s):
Preschool teacher (12 years experience)
M.A. Child Development/Education



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