"Find Something to DO"?

I have a 4 yr old and a 16 month old. I have zero time to myself from 7am to 9pm. My husband works all day and wants to relax with a sports show at night once he gets home. He will spend time with the kids while I fix dinner, or deal with the baby's bedtime, but still no time for me. I get irritable every day by about 3pm, with the constant "Mom, mom, mom, look Mom, play with me, Mom, look at this, Mom, can I have this, Mom..."

My baby still naps a little, and I know I should treasure the time I have to spend with my kids because in a few short years they won't want me to be involved with them, but how do I get through these trying years? I'm over 40 and often think if I had done this 10 years ago I'd have had more energy for it.

So I feel guilty and want advice on how to gently encourage my child to spend some quiet time, maybe playing with Legos or looking at books.

"Calgon, take me away."

Thank you...

Answers:
I am a mother of two. When my daughter was 2yrs old and my son was 5 months old, my husband and I started working different shifts. So I would get up and work all day, then come home and take care of two babies by myself every night. It is very trying and tiring. I feel your pain.

Do you have a friend or family member who is willing to take them for you for a couple of hours a few times a week so you can get some you time? If not, it might be well worth your sanity to pay a daycare provider for just a few hours a day so you can get some errands done hassle-free or just a nice hot bath with some candles and a book.

Or you can inform your hubby that you work all day too, and you would like to relax or go out to see a girlfriend once in awhile.

good luck

p.s. my kids are now 9 and 7 and they still say mom,mom,mom..lol and they still need and want me.. so put away that guilt and get a little selfish woman!!

Other Answers:
someone needs supernanny....sorry to hear...but i'm not a parent yet.

I'm 22, with 10 month old twins, and it doesn't matter how old you are, KIDS will wear you out in a hurry. Especially if your husband (like mine) doesn't understand the need for personal time. The only time that I get to myself on an almost regular basis is naptime: then I feel obligated to clean house, do laundry, etc. I finally had to sit my husband down and tearfully plead with him to alternate relaxation time with me. Thank goodness he listened! When they are that age it is hard. Beleave me it gets easier as they get older. You could get legos or you could get some learning viedos. Also I think you should find a sitter and take that Calgon time. Ask a mother-in-law or a friend or your husband could just two weekends a mo. even if it is just one weekend day. I wish you luck I am 39 and wanting one more child.

I have the same problem and I just tell my 6 year old that he needs to go play with his toys alone or watch a cartoon in his room so mommy can relax. I have a 7 week old too and between the both of them I am dead. I stopped feeling guilty for giving myself 1/2 an hour of "me" time, cause I realized that I was starting to get in a bad mood and snipe at every one and that taking a 1/2 hour away from my kids was actually helping me be a better mom.

I have a box of stuff that keeps them interested for a few minutes at a time, coloring books and crayons, sticker books, leap pads, puzzles, flash cards etc, I also have another box of seldom played with toys (they are the ones I hate to pick up) like blocks and shape sorters. Since these two boxes only get pulled out when I need me time, they sit companionably for a bit. when they get restless, I switch the toy.
My son is 2 1/2 and mt daughter is 1 1/2 so the same box of goodies works for both of them, you might want to try a box a piece. They are in the boxes now, literally, all the blocks are out, and they are in.
Also, get a babysitter a couple of hours a week, even if you only walk around the mall, get your toes done, whatever. You need it.

Wow ---- someone else who feels the same way I do.

My little girl is almost three and a HANDFUL. My husband works long hours and I also work a part-time home based job. So her nap time for me is MY work time, no rest and my daugther is not one to go play quietly anywhere or anytime.

Here's what my husband and I do and maybe this can help you too. Maybe once a month or so he will take her and I will get to have a "girls" night and go out to eat with some girlfriends and go to a movie or something. He in turn gets to do the same thing once a month or so. It's not much, but at least it is a little quiet time to yourself with NO children !!!

I'm in my early 30's and I have said more than once I should have had my daughter when I was 20, because she wears me out !!!

Hope this helps and don't worry, you're not the only one who gets grumpy by mid-day !!!

Don't feel guilty, you're tired and it is understandable.

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"Find Something to DO"?

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