Alternative(s) to spanking or other corporal punishment, for specific problem behaviors...?
You may wonder "how does an 18-month-old get away, anyway?" He always holds my or another grown-up's hand when we go out, but sometimes I allow him supervised freedom. e.g. he was running back and forth bewteen his grandparents and me- at one point, he made like he was going towards my father, but then took a quick right, turning his head back to give me his look.
So I caught up with him, quickly, of course, and put him in the store wagon with repetitive verbal explanations like "Stay with mommy".
Related to this problem behavior is that of simply not heeding when I call him to come to me, whether at home or in public (although, as I said, in public, he will normally hold someone's hand).
Sorry so wordy!
Answers:
At this age it may be difficult for a mind this young to grasp the implications of instrumental, classical, or response cost type relationships. Child leashes seem like a good idea if you do not want to spank your child. Once their mind is sufficiently developed probably in another year or year and half you can begin to use instrumental and response cost techniques that will be extremely effective in modelling the desired behavior from your growing toddler. A well timed spank may create an association between the undesirable behavior and the undesirable consequent(spank), then again it may not. If it were my child I would probably use a child leash or perhaps even an enticement such as food or a sweet to elicit the desired behavior, at least until they are old enough to benefit from more traditional behavioral modification approaches. Once they are old enough you can use behavioral modifcation techniques with great success. At this time their brain may not be developed enough to understand these types of associations. Save the rewards and enticements for eliciting good behavior as much as possible. If the behavior is really out of control, i would suggest isolation and a response cost as a consequence. One thing to remember is that it is important to be consistent in your treatment approaches so that the consequences and antecedents are clear in both of your minds.
Other Answers:
I like those child leashes for public situations.
Use rewards to encourage good behvior. Avoid food rewards, but you can have special toys that he only gets when he listens, stickers, hand stamps, etc.
Keep up the good work. I did the same and it eventually works. After all he is only 18 months old i think it is natural for little kids to exercise their freedom when they realize it. they are just learning so dont let other bad habits be formed at such a young age. i think you should teach him morals and the emotional part of disobedience. my parents made me feel bad not with spanking (even though they did spank me occasionally) but with words of disapproval. your kid really does love you and help him notice the bond between him and you. teach him to do things out of love not out of fear. i learned when i was younger to listen to "mommy" because i loved her not because she would spank me.
I've got a very spirited 4 1/2 year old. A swat on his butt is about the only thing that gets through to him. You only have to do it a couple times, and then just make the threat. I'm not saying to hit hard enough to hurt the kid, but hard enough so it stings for a few minutes.
All this stuff of corporal punishment is abuse is nonsense. If you love your children you will do what you can do to make them respect you and obey you. You are doing them no favors letting them run out of control.
as i posted on another answer spanking is a good punishment but you have to teach them the right way with words... also if your child runs then you ahve to tell them "You run away and you won't get that freedom anymore" you can also focus on the positive not the negative.. don't say stay with mommy but say instead hey i want to hold my hand would you hold my hand... when you put the position of helper or comforter in their hand it makes them feel like they are imoprtant or needed and they stay to help you as if they were beign teh mommy
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