Is my 4 year old stressed?


There are several things that make me think so ... one is that we moved 2 months ago, another is that she's going to be starting school soon so we are discussing it, another is she's had a change of schedule.

For instance, this morning she made toast and freaked out waiting for the toaster bell to ring (new toaster). She hid, covered her ears and basically stressed until it rang. The smallest thing can set her off into horrible fits of crying, like she'd just lost her best friend or something.

Is this normal 4 year old drama queen stuff, or should I be trying to de-stress her? If it's stress, any suggestions on helping her relax?

Answers:
I would try talking to her, because this doesn't sound like normal 4 year old behavior. Sit down with her and color or play a game, and while you're doing it, talk. Ask her how she feels, find out what's going on in her mind. Is she scared about school? Does she miss her old house? Talking will give you insight into how she's feeling and then you can help better. If you doing while playing, she is more likely to open up and talk freely.

If she does have worries or misses home, you should validate her feelings saying you understand, you were worried before you started school, you miss the old house, etc. If she's afraid of school, role-play how preschool will be. Maybe visit the school, role-play dropping her off, role-play where she's the student and you're the teacher, pretend to be another student, talk about all of the fun things she'll do.

If she misses the old house, you can have her look at pictures, draw pictures, or create a memory book that she can look at when she's sad. She'll adjust over time.

As for the new schedule, you could post it somewhere where she can understand it (use pictures of activities and a digital clock). That way she can see what happens when and can follow along.

Good Luck!

Other Answers:
smile alot. laugh with her and relax.

tension and stress are contagious you know... how is your stress level? She does sound stressed. Try talking to her when she is calm. She has had a lot of changes recently. Try not talking to her about starting school unless she brings it up. I know that my 4 year old got scared about school and not being with mummy but by not discussing it he has calmed down and has recently been telling other people that he will soon be going to school with great pride and enthusiasim. Just give her a lot of cuddles and love and be there for her slowly she will come round and be back to her own self. Lots of luck



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