Any advise on getting our 3.5 year old girl to go to bed by herself. She needs one of us to lay down with her.
Answers:
She is probably insecure and wants attention. When my baby brother was little, my mom and dad would put him in his bed then sit outside his door and read. He was crying, but they wouldn't acknowledge his presence unless he came out of his room. If he had the nerve to come out of his room, he would me given a small but communicative spanking, then would be returned to his bed. After a few nights of this, he stopped coming out of his room, and a few days later he didn't really cry at all.
She also may be afraid of the toilet. Some children are deathly afraid that they will fall into it, and the flushing noise scares them also. I suggest that you get a little toilet seat. Have her practice sitting on it with her pants on a few times a day. Perhaps let her put her dolls on it. Also, let her watch you pour a little glass of water into the pot of her seat, and then ler her watch you dispose of it. Show her that she doesn't have to sit on the "big potty" until she is ready.
If she doesn't like getting her hair cut, take her the next time you get your hair done. She may be afraid of what will happen when she sits in the big chair and a lady approaches her with scissors in her hand. You might even consider cutting her hair yourself.
Most importantly, make sure she contacts her brother regualarly. Whether by e-mail, snail mail, or phone, keeping that relationship is vital. Let her tell her brother about her accomplishments when she learns something new. I will be praying for you!
Other Answers:
bribery works well for the sleep
bathroom wise sit her on and run hot water
ask the daycare assistant to stop in sometimes
no advice on haircuts sorry
Tell her it is time to go to bed, and lay her down. When she comes out, pick her up (don't talk to her or make any eye contact, very important) and lay her back down again. Do this as many times as you have to until it works. Talking and eye contact raise the child's blood pressure and makes them more alert. You may have to do it many, many times, but it will be worth it once it works.
Source(s):
Experience plus "Supernanny"
Can I offer another perspective?
This sweet little baby girl needs something she can cling to. Her mama and daddy are gone, she is separated from her home and from you all day at day care- sleep is the one thing she has where she can feel safe and snuggled as much as she needs. Even if she loves her day care, she is still separated from the people with whom she feels safest and loves most- you!
The more you push a child away, the tighter they will cling to you. *She will grow out of this!* Let some time pass between now and all the transitions she's experiencing to grow to feel safe and secure, and then revisit the sleep situation. Maybe there are ways you can tweak the night time routine to make it easier for you both, but this is not an overnight process.
She has already learned that the world is a harsh place, don't reinforce it even more by forcefully pushing her away at night! Gently wean her to another option! I used to put my son to sleep in our bed and then after he was asleep, move him to a crib mattress on my floor. My kids (8 and 4) are very welcome in my bed anytime, and I truly believe that becuase we weaned into things and didn't do anything cold turkey, they now feel safe and comfortable in their own beds. Maybe the book below would be helpful to you to not only give you some info on where she's at developmentally but also offer some ideas on ways to get her to sleep in a way that will work for the whole family. Blessings to you for stepping in on behalf of your grand daughter and protecting her from further harm.
Source(s):
Nighttime Parenting, by Dr. William Sears
http://www.mothering.com
http://www.askdrsears.com
I'm a mama of two boys, a doula and childbirth educator
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