Help with child?
Answers:
Well, its great of you to hang in with this child. I'm sure that some sort of stability is important to her.
I'm sure that the death of her mother is part of this, along with all the other changes that this has caused in her life. She isn't really old enough to verbalize to you about her mother. Wish she were, it would make it easier to deal with. One thing that helps is to let her draw pictures and play with dolls. She can often reenact some of her fears this way.
Night time is often the most difficult for children anyway, and its scary for them. My notion is that she now has her night/days mixed up as well. You are going to have to start getting her to reorganize her days and nights. You can't let her sleep as long during the day as you do. You have to go about this by keeping her awake during the day, and putting her to bed at night to sleep.
It might be good to talk with a child psychologist about this who can help you out some. It probably won't take too long to work with this. Talk to your pediatrician for a referral or call the local mental health association for a referral to a psychologist who has experience working with young children.
Wish your mom was more help. Anyone else there who can help you out?
Hang in there. This will mean a lot to your child.
Other Answers:
first off- sorry about your loss . . . and maybe try this my mother did this to me when i was young . . . i used to do the same thing sleep all day and play all night one day just wake her up and play all day with her like i mean non-stop that night she'll sleep and the next day she should stay awake maybe do that for a week and see what happens
well you should take time to talk to her about her sleeping patterns and tell her about your job and school also talk to her about her mom when she feels comfortable talking to you, earn her trust, then sooner or later shell give in and talk to you
(hopefully) good luck:]
I have a question.. Who keeps her during the day? If it is your mom you may want to find another sitter. Who ever has her needs to keep her awake during the day. You may try and find a support group of others who's child lost a parent. Check at your local courthouse. I am so sorry for your loss and the hurt your family is feeling. I personally do not think it is a good idea to give your daughter up but it is not my choice obviously.
I'm sorry about ur situation, I don't have any answers, but I can suggest that you hold your daughter and let her sleep in your bed, maybe she needs that contact comfort that all children need, that her mother was not able to give her since she passed on. Maybe that will help her sleep. Just so you know I have a little 3 yr old brother (i'm 18)and when I babysit him and he doesn't want to sleep he likes to sleep in my bed with me.
And maybe you can try to ask for help from someone who is a little more compassionate and speak to people who already have kids and are willing to help. I'm sorry I can't help more.
YOU ARE RIGHT, DON'T GIVE HER UP! No one will ever treat her with the love you have for her. Just because she is not sleeping correct is not a reason for her to be given away.
What you will have to do for a few days is unfortunately going to be tough on you, her & whoever else is in the house but it will only be for a few days. Everytime she falls asleep during the day, gently wake her up. Keep doing this all day every day until she starts to fall asleep at night, like around 8:00p.m. So if she falls asleep at 10 am, wake her up gently & play with her. When she falls asleep again around 3pm or whatever time, gently wake her up. You are going to have to keep her active, even if she gets cranky. Be creative on finding new ways to make her laugh, be silly & goofy and entertain her. Run with her outside, play different games, take her to the zoo, etc. Stimulate her brain BUT don't let her sleep. She will get cranky, but don't yell at her. She will eventually tire out at the early evening and sleep thru the nights & be awake during the days.
Also, every few days talk to her about good memories of her mother. If she sees you speaking freely about her mommy then maybe she will open up to you.
It is also Very Important to update Ella Rosa's doctor with all this information (how & when her mother died, Ella Rosa's sleeping patterns, her crying fits, etc.) Tell the doctor everything and they will be able to give you good information too.
You can also continue to Pray for the well being of your child.
I am proud of a young father like you. You are doing the right thing and will be rewarded! There should be more concerned men out there like you! Continue & finish your schooling. It might be a tough couple of years but it will definitely pay off!
Why are you letting her sleep all day? No wonder she's up all night, with all that sleep. You need to put her on a schedule. I know it's hard, with work and school, but that's what she needs, to have a normal life. If she's doing things all day, with maybe one short nap (about an hour), she should sleep all night. Give her plenty of daily exercise, especially outdoors, even in the winter time. At this age, they need fresh air and exercise. It helps them get rid of all that energy they seem to have overflowing from them. That's why lots of kids get diagnosed ADD and other such things. They need to get rid of their excess energy. You never heard of hyper kids years ago. That's because they had chores and a schedule. Keep her busy. After a while, she should start settling down. Also, dealing with the loss of her mom will be hard for her for a few months, so just keep her busy. If she doesn't want to talk about it, move on to something else. Read her her favorite stories before bedtime. If she needs a night light and a stuffed animal, make sure she has it. Try to settle into a regular routine. It will give her a sense of normalcy, making her feel more secure. People who say kids bounce back easily after an upset don't know kids too well. It takes them a while to adjust to changes, especially with losing a parent. And let your mother know that your little one needs to stick with your schedule too. Moms who are grandmas tend to spoil the grandkids. You have to be firm, if your little one is to start settling down. Doing this now will be a big help for when she starts school, which is another big change to her day. Preparing for it ahead of time, pointing out the positive things, is the best way to let her know that this is something that all kids do. With you going to school yourself, you'll be able to let her see that it's a normal part of life. Also, see if you can take her on some play dates with other kids on the weekends. She needs that interaction to help her when she starts school. Hope all goes well for you and your little one. <*)))><
You could take her to a child thearapist. This is a very hard situation for both of you to deal with. Just stay with her. Everything will work out.
I'm so sorry to hear about your loss.It must be hard.Especially when you have a young one.When mothers pass away,the best thing to do is move on.I dont mean go out and find a women to marry just because your daughters hurting.However,Dating again wouldn't be so bad.Let's say you found a women and dated a little while and thought about getting married.It may take your daughter a little while to get used to a new mommy.But,if the new mom tries to spend time with her,your daughter might see that she's only trying to help.Your wife would totally understand if you wanted to move on.wouldn't you want your wife to move on if you passed away?I hope you find the right answer and keep your daughter in an environment where she's loved.Good luck.And if you need an exact answer,seek Jesus
Source(s):
Parenting or pray
try councelling, at a religous place.
I'm very sorry for your loss and am glad that you aren't living with your mother but your mother in law. Your mother has no right to tell you to get rid of your daughter. She has already lost one parent and your mother would have her losing another one. It's obvious your daughter is grieving. I agree with getting her back on a schedule. It will help give her that sense of normalcy that she needs. Give her lots of comfort, hugs, kisses, special play dates, and the chance to cry her eyes out whenever she needs to. Every person is affected by grief differently and time will only tell if she will be able to get past it. You can also try to do something that her mom used to do for her. You may want to try helping her to remember her mommy in good ways like taking flowers to her grave on her birthday and looking at pictures. Make the memories special. I don't know any guidelines on how long she will grieve for, but I would talk to a child therapist and ask questions on how to help her and how long to give her before putting her into therapy. One other thing, if your mother in law doesn't work, I would suggest taking her out of daycare until she's ready to be around other children again. I hope this helps.
I am so sorry. I would highly recommend play therapy for your child. Because she is 4 she can not verbalize as much about her feelings, but a play therapist can help her work through her feelings in a way she understands... playing! I work with Child Protective Services, and one of the things we try to do when a child experiences a loss (mostly due to be removed from the home) is to get them in therapy of some kind. The therapist will be able to help you with her as well.
In the mean time, love her, hold her and let her cry. I am so sorry for your lost. I think it is wonderful that you are sticking with her, even with you being so young =)
Well first of all I'm sorry to hear about your loss. Im sure your daughter misses her mummy very much and so do u. You and your daughter both need to go to a child therapist. There are some excellent one who deal deal primarily with children. My daughter goes to one and she loves it and it has helped her so much. Never give upp your daughter. That is the last thing she needs right now is to lose you. Age has nothing to do with how you parent. I was only 16 when I had my oldest daughter. I can tell you yes it is tough but never give up. I finished school while raising her without her father for 4 yrs. Just have faith and find a child therapist they will know how to help and even help give you ideas on what to do at home. If u need to talk more ill listen the best i can. spongebobfreak79@yahoo.com/ yahoo id spongebobfreak79
Source(s):
experience
I have a four yr. old daughter too.I feel for you and Ella. she is scared and confused and misses her mother very much.Let her grieve for for her mother. Always talk about her mom with a smile. about happy memories, give her love and alot of time, time is what she needs most.
I'm so sorry for the loss that you and Ella have suffered. You are doing nothing wrong as a parent. You're continuing your education, and holding down a job, you are being a good dad.
Your mother is way out of line to even suggest you give your daughter up! This little girl has just lost her mother, and if you gave her up she'd be losing daddy too! (Not to mention you've bonded with this little girl for four years now!)
The best thing for Ella right now would be to see a child psychologist. This would help her deal with the loss of her mommy.
Keep doing what you're doing. By continuing your education and having a job, you're bettering yourself, and Ella will look up to you for that. Spend as much time with Ella as you can, and keep your chin up. Things will get better.
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