Is this normal preschool sexual behavior?

At the preschool my son attends (he is 4 yrs old) one of the older boys in the class (he's almost 5) has been caught asking other boys to "show him their pee-pee." He tells them that he will "hug them and be their friend" if they show him their pee-pee. Today he was caught under a climbing toy on the playground with two other boys, one of them with pants down. When questioned about what they were doing, the one said that this boy has "licked his pee-pee." The boys were questioned by the director, and the "perpetrator" made some comments to the effect that he has seen his Daddy's movies where "people lick each other's pee-pees all the time." It seems that this is abnormal sexual behavior for a four year old (and obviously he's been exposed to sexual material he should not have knowledge of at his age). I am concerned for my son and worried that this child may approach him and do something to him next time. Am I wrong to be worried?

Answers:
You are NOT wrong.

Inappropriate sexual conduct/knowledge (knowledge which is not developmentally appropriate for any given age) is one of the red-flag warning signs of child sexual abuse.

Daycare providers are mandatory reporters, which means that incidents of this type are required by law to be reported to your state's child welfare agency. You should go to the daycare and ask for a conference with the director, and ask them exactly what they are doing about the problem, and inform them that if they do not notify child welfare authorities, YOU will.

Don't be afraid to make some noise about this. IF this child is being abused, YOU could be his one best hope to have a normal future. Even if you're wrong, and he's not being abused, his parents should still be made aware of just how inappropriate it is to expose young, impressionable children to sexually-oriented material.

One other note: you, as the parent, have the right to ask and receive information about what specific actions the daycare intends to do to protect other children from this child's sexually charged behavior. The daycare has an obligation to protect other children from sexual abuse by their peers.

Good luck! I'm sorry this happened at your child's daycare.

edited: sorry, I didn't mean daycare - I meant "preschool". Everywhere I said "daycare", please substitute the word "preschool". The substance of the answer is still the same, though.

Other Answers:
you are not wrong. ive never heard of this, but it seems incorrect.

You are not wrong to be worried at all. Unfortunately we have to pick up for other people's mistakes though. I guess all you can do is tell him to say no and that it's bad or something like that. Obviously the other parents aren't taking responsibilty for their child. Definately abnormal... find a better preschool program...

get your child away from this precocious kid!!!

No! YOu are not wrong to be worried at all! If this boy has done this to other boys then he may very well do it to your son also. Is there another pre-school nearby? If there is I suggest taking your son to this one, if you like it.

This is normal, some children grow up in a house hold where things might not be so secret. Children pick up from what they are around, so maybe the kid is around behavior like that alot. Just mention to a teacher what occurred and then move on, just talk to your son and teach him that, that kind of behavior is inappropriate. no that is not normal behvior that little boy is a ***. i hope it aint yo son. anser my question.

No you're not wrong to be worried, you should take your son out of that class and talk to the teacher about having the other boy watched more thoroughly during recess or breaks.

no you are not wrong b/c that may be the first stage to gay what you should no is sit him down and tell what he is doing is very bad

No, you should be worried. A lot of what is on TV is affecting the youth negatively. This is why prayer should be back in school, youth problems weren't as bad and I am in high school. Wow that is pretty scary stuff!! you have every right to be worried... if i were you i would not let my son be at pre school with him...

It is sad for the little boy too... i hope that he gets taken care of!

Hell No!!!!! You are not wrong to be worried about this kind of behavior!!!!!!! I take this kind of behavior very seriously!!! I feel like you have to speak up and do what is best for your child b/c he cannot speak for himself. My son would not be there for another second. I would not leave something like this to chance.
Source(s):
Dental Hygientist You're not wrong but this is an opportunity to teach your child about boundaries and innapropriate behaviour. It is also a chance to educate him about not letting anyone but his parents or a doctor touch him in his privates, regardless of whether he knows them or not.

Uh, yeah! This should majorly concern you! Not only for the sake of your child but for the other kid. Sounds like sexual abuse.
You should pursue this to the end.

No, you are not wrong. It would not be such a bad idea to maybe change preschools. Or have a parent meeting with the preschool to address the situation. This other little boy has clearly been exposed to things he does not understand and while that is not his fault, he needs to know that what he is doing is not ok and his father should be talked to about how this might have happened. Its almost sounds like this little boy may have been molested or something. No, it is not normal behavior. Please let his parents know what has happened. I would definately either have that child moved or move my child. Do not underestimate this problems this could cause!

The director of the preschool knows that this had happened and the "perpetrator" is still allowed to attend that preschool??? The "perpetrator" should not be allowed to play with other children like that, yes I would be concerned. Talk to the director and let them know that you don't feel comfortable with this child around your child.

Good Luck and God Bless!!

Remove your child from the preschool immediately. Find another reputable school. Do not allow your child to have any further contact with this boy.

He'll soon forget what has happened (unless he continues to interact with that boy).

Curiosity about the body is completely normal, and I was not concerned with your situation until I read about the acting out of a pornographic film. That child has a pretty scary future.....don't risk harming your own son by allowing the other boy to have contact with him.

Nothing wrong with worrying about your child. First, the teacher/principal should have called the authorities and reported suspected child abuse/neglect. Second, you need to sit down with your son and have a general sex talk. There are some great books in the library about how to talk to a small child. Basically you teach him that NO ONE touches him in the swim suit area except a doctor when mother/dad is present.

Children are curious about their bodies at that age, but they should not be exposed to sexual issues.

What did the teacher do? She needs to keep a closer eye on all the boys involved! You have a right to ask for the school to provide a counselor if needed.

But as the parent, you need to make sure your child is educated to some extent, protected in all areas, and that you answer his questions.
Source(s):
Make sure your son does not feel quilty for anything that happened.

NO! not normal.and i would turn this in to DHS and tell them of the porn also.this little boy could be getting molested . but you need to get the authority's involved. OK this is such a sad society that they actually would allow such behavior in the school. I know that the child is young but they need to also bring this up to the child's parents. This is also sad that you are also a teacher at that school and yet your Supervisor has not done anything. I would if I was a parent remove my child from that school until that other child has been removed I know it may not be fair to you child but to risk exposure to such a behavior is unacceptable. Because this is not normal behavior at all especially to say that the child has been exposed to "DADDY'S MOVIES". Geesh these parents need to start doing ADULTS things behind doors and keep it there. That's why they have locks on doors for use them. But its not the child's fault at all the Parents need to be brought in and told about this. Good Luck
Source(s):
Mother of 2yr boy and 4yr girl

I just watched a story on the news where a 5 yr. old boy was expelled for touching a classmate inappropiately twice. The parents tried to argue that the childs actions were misunderstood and not meant in that way, but he was kicked out. It is a sad situation. You don't want the other children to be victimized but at the same time it's hard to think of a 4-5 yr. old child as a sexual predator. I am scared just like you. Children these days are exposed to a lot of harmful things. I can't even begin to wonder(nor do I want to) where they pick this stuff up. It's hard enough to try to create a safe environment for your children to live in just to have it all flushed down the toilet by a scenario that they have to witness at school. Also a place that is supposed to be safe. I'm horrified and I feel bad. I would encourage you to get to the bottom of this because it obviously has gone beyond a problem. You work in the school take it to a higher up. Don't be embarrased we have the right to protect our children by any means necessary.

I think somebody should talk to his parents.This could seriously affect this boy and other boys.I have 3 boys and they have never seen or heard of them talking about it.

From what I remember from being that age (early to mid 1980's), it wasn't uncommon for some of the others at my school to go "I'll show you mine if you show me yours" and whip 'em out when the teacher wasn't looking at playtime (then deny everything when you told on them)...... however, there's no way in hell the rest of that is normal and you should demand the teacher have a little chat with the other kids' parent(s) about it. If they refuse to do sweet-fa about it, move schools and put in an official complaint about the teacher with the local education big cheeses.

More Questions & Answers...

The information provided by website users, we do not guarantee its completeness and accuracy, so it can not be applied in during any medical emergency or for the diagnosis or treatment of any medical condition.

Is this normal preschool sexual behavior?

Pregnancy & Parenting