how can i get my (only child) 5 yr old son to be a little more outgoing and friendly?
Answers:
I have a shy son too. If we walk into a situation unprepared he will freeze up. Gently talk to him about what is expected before you get there. Today he had a hair cut and wanted this cardboard box that came in the mail to play with. I told him he couldn't have the box unless he spoke to the barber. I tell him one word answers are fine just make eye contact and acknowledge what they have said even if it is just a nod. Went well so he got his box.
Other Answers:
You could try getting involved in activities with him like going into his classroom to volunteer or planning big birthday parties for him including all kids his age in your neighborhood. However, I did this with my 5-year-old son and he's 10 now and he's still not that outgoing...he's a little better but that's just his personality. : ) Good luck.
The ole nature versus nurture question. Some would say that a child's character is inborn and that some of us are just natural introverts. Ask yourself why you need your son to be a little more friendly and outgoing. Then ask yourself, is your need more important than just acknowledging his nature and going with it. What does he need?
Some people get a boost out of other people and others need plenty of time alone in order to recharge, because they find interacting with other people to be exhausting. This is something that is difficult to change.
However, I have seen children who were reluctant to interact develop into very open and interactive people following different intervals of exposure to a familiar environment. The key to allowing a child to blossom is stability and consistency. Happiness usually follows, whether they are an extrovert or an introvert.
Children often emulate their parents and other influencers. What kind of messages and examples does he get in his environment? Do you socialize a lot? Are you open and friendly? You might be all of the above and it won't make a difference.
So, as the other person who answered suggested, create opportunities for your son to meet different people, as his issue might be that he doesn't have a lot of practice with the tools one needs to make friends easily. If that doesn't seem to work, relax and enjoy him the way he is.
in social situations don't mother him to death let him walk around i know it might sound mean but in a way ignore him. have "grown up" time with oyur friends or other parents. show him through your actions that if mommy can do so can he. Also let him do it don't force him into anything.
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