My grandaughter (4 yrs old( is very mean to her brother (2 yrs of age) she tries to hurt him deliberatly?
Answers:
I don't know about the rest of the world. But when we did that as children in my parents house we got our butts whupped severely. Now that I am a parent myself I have had to do the same only a few times to my three boys and they are only three years apart between the oldest and youngest. You also need to reinforce that nothing comes between family, She is JEALOUS of someone taking her attention away from her and he is a problem. Now she needs to learn that he is her brother and family.
Other Answers:
it sounds like she is jealous,which is completely normal for her age,this will probably happen everytime the 2yr old goes through other milestones and phases.
find out why she is wanting to hurt him, has he usurped her position in the home? Is it less attention than she wants? Talk to her as if she were a grown-up and it's a problem she can help figure out and resolve. Good luck.
well...my sister and my brother are doing that a lot 2......just try to keep her away from him......and tell her if she doesn't stop she wont get a treat.....my grandma uses the "magic finger".....its black pepper and you put it on your finger and pop it into her mouth...it really works and my bro and sis.......they are getting along just fine......after u pop it into her mouth tell her to wash it out......DON'T TELL HER WHAT "THE MAGIC FINGER IS".....cuz if she finds out..............she would say....its not magic so I'm not afraid anymore....that's my advice 2 u.....good luck......
SHE DONT MEAN TO BE MEAN SHE IS JUST JEALOUS ,and maybe a little angry and confused she was the only baby in the house for 2 yrs now here comes this little brother invading in her space ,all she knows is that once mom,dad, grandmother and grandfather was all her she was number 1 ,tell her you are the big sister you have to take care of him show him how to do things that you do ,you are a big girl and he is just a baby and maybe spend some time with her alone after the baby is put in bed she is just a baby to we had the same problem with my 9 yr old grand son verses 2 yr old grandson after my daughter did what i told you they get alone great now he is the big brother he knows everything it works so we don't complain
Sounds like you all may be making the problem worse by trying to "fix" the situation. Instead of punishing her for her "mean" behavior how about setting it up so that she has opportunities to be nice to him and then praise her. Also, are you sure that he's not actually causing some of this behavior? I know my 2 year old could drive a saint up the wall, and whenever there's a problem with his siblings its usually the 2 year old that started it and the 4 and 6 yr olds are just reacting lol. 2 year olds can be very rough and your granddaughter probably doesn't have the coping skills to be able to say "its ok that he took my toy because he's little." or "I'm not going to hit him back even though he hurt me, because he's little." Also, make sure the family isn't favoring the 2year old over the 4 year old. She needs lots of one on one attention and praise - sounds like maybe everyone is catering to the little one and she's feeling left out and jealous. Try to think how much her life has changed in the past 2 years - especially since baby brother became mobile and started getting into all her toys etc. Just be patient, praise the good behavior and seperate them when bad behavior (on either part) arises. Oh and don't always make her give in because he's little - if she had a toy first its hers, don't make her "share" because he cries or fusses - that'll just breed resentment.
Source(s):
mom of 3, pregnant with #4 (my kids are 6, 4 and 2 now, due in September with #4!)
She feels invaded, displaced, and probably a little rejected -- and her little brother is the cause of it. It's "normal" in that it happens all the time -- new baby gets doted on and older child feels forgotten and discarded. Bad news is, if unchecked, it can build resentments that last a verrrrrrry long time. She needs to be made to feel valued and assured that she isn't being replaced. Make sure not to dote too much on the boy when she's around, do special things with her and pay special attention to her until her confidence comes back, and then make sure she's very included going forward.
Well, I have a girl and boy the same ages. I also see the same behaviors some time. I know for us it really helps that the children spend time apart. My daughter goes to preschool which is good. Then i am able to spend alone time with just my son. Being apart from each other but also receiving quality and quantity time with mom and dad brings peace in my home. Also a strict Leval of acceptable behavior. Applause for good and punishment for bad.
we have a foster home with lots of different and changing kids. The simple answer is Do Not TRY to fix the problem, just keep them apart and Do NOT let them play together for the rest of the day EVEN IF they stop being mean. You will be happier and so will they.
Same thing with my two nieces, the thing with it is, every time you try to correct her and say "that's not nice", she's going to get even more jealous thinking that he's more important. Another thing is, she may not understand why he can get away with certain things and she can't (believe me- he probably does, the younger of my nieces does all the time). She's got to understand that he is younger and not old enough to know right from wrong. That she is much stronger than him and can hurt him worse than he can her. The parents have to sit down and talk to her as if she were grown up. Her job as an older sibling is to protect him, not hurt him. She's got to understand that he's part of the family and not going to leave (which she may think if she's mean to him he'll go away...). The girl needs to be talked to and let known that she is loved just as much. Remember this is very normal for two siblings. but a thing you must catch while they are young- or she'll continue forever.
Source(s):
Hurtful sister, 2 nieces, and younger cousins with same issues!
Well it's working for her isn't it?! After all, she hits her brother, you pay attention to her, even if it's yelling or whatever.
Next time she hits him, put your back to her, ask him if he's okay, kiss his "booboo" and generally make a fuss over him. Ignore her completely.
After he's calmed, then tell her to go to the corner or whatever place you have for time-outs and let her know that you are disappointed in her. Then leave it alone.
Totally normal at that age and the bad news is that it might not get better anytime soon. The best thing to try is to attempt to get her to WANT to treat her brother well. Shower her with praise when she does something nice and really make her feel like she's a great example and your little helper. Give her special attention to cut down on her sibling rivalry and make sure to point out all the things she gets to do that he doesn't.
Good luck!
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