"Am I selfish?"?
Question:
Answers:
No, I understand that you want one now, because it's that biological clock ticking. But, if he can't give you a simple yes or no, he probably is avoiding the subject because he doesn't want to hurt you by telling you no. He knows it would be a disappointment to you because he doesn't feel the same way. It's only natural to want your child to have a father and accessible family background information. However, if your bf doesn't give you an answer and you know the relationship isn't going to end in marriage, then it might be time to split. I know that you may love your boyfriend very much, but if you two don't want the same things in life, you might end up in a position where it's either stay in the relationship with no children, or get out of it with the possibility of children. I, personally, would say the following (this is what I did with my fiance)
Say: (at a good time, not in the middle of the baseball game) "Honey, I love you very much and I enjoy the time we have spend and will spend together. I've asked you up front whether you would like to have children or not. You haven't given me a straight answer yet. I know it's a lot to think about and a new challenge for our relationship. However, I think that we're ready to take that next step. Having children is really important to me and having YOUR children would be a blessing. Please take some time to think this over, but I'd really like to start a family with you, maybe start trying to get pregnant in the next few months."
Then wait. If he says nothing at that time, or within a week, ask him if he's decided if he wanted children. If the answer is no, and you are convinced you aren't getting married, I would consider seeing other people or dealing with the fact that you won't have children.
But, maybe he was quiet and didn't answer when you asked because he wanted to check his bank accounts and see if there was enough money or some other crazy thing that boys keep secret.
No, you weren't being selfish if it's something that is important to you.
Good luck and take care. I know you might feel rushed, but try to be patient.
Other Answers:
I would find a person whom I love and loves me and wants us to have children together, not someone who dances around the question. The question should be, if I was pregnent, would my bf still be around.
If you *aren't* married to the father of your child, she/he will have very limited experience with having a father and knowing family background. If these are important to you, then I'd say you don't want to have a child outside of marriage. Listen to your *own* values when deciding how to act! I think that adoption would be a good route for you to go. At 37, you are already at the point where having a baby would put it at a high rosk for developing Down's Syndrome, among other numerous diseases. Also, isn't having a baby with a man that you know you won't get married too later just about as close as having a baby with a sperm donor? If he doesn't seem into the idea of having a baby with you, what makes you think he is going to stick around after your child is born. It's probable that he wouldn't. Adoption seems like the perfect option for you. You won't be inconveniencing any man for his sperm and you'll obtain a child that needs a good loving mother like yourself. Plus, you won't have to worry about forming a child that would have problems later on in life. But, no, I don't think you are selfish. Many women feel their biological clock ticking and just get that urge to have a baby, no matter who it's with. But be careful to always think about everyone involved, including your boyfriend and your "baby". Good luck with whatever you decide to do.
If you know it will not lead to marriage, absolutely not. He has already not been straight forward with you and that tends to lead with the no he does not want to support a child. You need to talk to him seriously ASAP, and ask him about your future and if he does not want a child and does not think marriage is in your horizon, it may hurt but you need to move on and find a committed relationship. Do not have a child that already has a bad chance with the "family" situation. Move on to a relationship with a guy who wants kids soon and wants marriage. A lot of people I know have tried eHarmony and have wound up with who they call their soulmate. But don't worry, my mom had my little brother when she was 42 and he grew up healthy and strong with no complications throughout the pregnancy. Good luck!
no ur not selfish at all im the same way with my b/fand he wants to later maybe he jus wantsta wait but i think its wime for u to have a kid jus have him tell u yes or no
simple answer but idk good luck :) no you are not selfish, but get a man who wants to settle probably your bf doesnt want that thats why he has not asnwered your question.
More Questions & Answers...
- I might be pregnant 2-3 weeks now. But in this time I regurarily drank wine/beer and had 1 joint. What now?
- Is there any known method of making sex with your wife in order to make a male child?
- what are the signs of being pregnant besides morning sickness?
- is spotting in early pregnancy normal or a cause for concern?
- Do they test for pregnancy in the ER?
- Has anyone tried the ring for birth control? How do they like it?