"Disciplining" my 1 yr dated son? Without spanking, hitting, etc.?
Specifically, we are having problems with him pulling on his safekeeping gate until it falls and scares us to demise.
Answers: Since you are not open to spanking (and that's ok) first try a hardware mounted baby takings to avoid him pulling down the current one. We have hardware mounted gates contained by our house and our two year old cannot pull them down. Baby's R Us and Wal-Mart take good ones.
When he bites, look him firmly in the eye and relay him "NO. Biting hurts" and put him in a time out for 1 minute. I think that because he seem to sense that it really does hurt when you tell him no then you are doing it without fault so far. He's not too young to discipline at all. With tantrums, do not reward them or provide them attention. Put him in his crib or in a undisruptive place and walk away. I'd say not to verbs. You are doing wonderful! :)
*Also to add there is no set channel in any parenting book or class or "expert" that will be the best for all circumstances and situations. If what you do is working for your child later stick with it and go next to your motherly instinct and experience. Again you are seem to be handling it quite in good health. Good job Mom!
With what your son is doing it is all precarious and you have to do something that will get his attention and fashion him stop doing it. What if he bites a sick person or what if he hurts himself by pulling on his safety revenue. You rather not pop his hand or spank him because of your purpose but you would rather see him bite a nasty person/person or possibility hurt himself by pulling his sanctuary gate. You have a choice you can hurt him by popping him or he can hurt himself and I reason your hurt would be less painful later his being you're the adult and you know your inhibit. First, I firmly support spanking, but not for a 1 year old; he's too young for it to be successful. The kind of scolding you are doing is fine, and as he gets elder you can start using time outs, taking toys away, early bed time, etc. The key is to other punish calmly and lovingly, never out of anger or frustration.
You can do the "naughty step", this involves putting the child on the bottom step of the stairs when they're ornery, you can use a mat or chair as well, anything you wish.
They get a minute for every year of their vivacity, and if they get off, you save putting them back on there.
Eventually they will adopt if they move it will add to the time they have on nearby, and will stay on there.
This will slowly teach them the wrong things that they are doing.
I hope this method help, my mum did it to me and my siblings as a child and it worked a treat!
Good-luck!
problems like that need to be taken carefulness of at an early age so dont wait till hes elder. take him, put a chair contained by the corner, go down to eye level and transmit him he needs to sit there because he hurt mommy and that it is not fitting. hes going to sit there for 5 minutes-tell him that. when the 5 minutes are up explain to him again why he was told to sit surrounded by the chair. make him apologize, pass him a hug and see how that goes. whenever it happens again, do it again. if he doesnt stay seated after pick him up and put him on the chair again until he doesnt get up. [the tv show nanny 911 give a lot of good advice] I'm sorry I don't want to be snooping but I'm a 16 year old, my parents properly disciplined me and I couldn't thank them enough.
Children don't remember you spanking them (I don't) but its the solitary way to properly teach them,
Take it from a wel mannered 16 year prehistoric.
You could try time out. Place him in a chair surrounded by the corner somewhere and make him stay for at least one minute (1yr). Tell him why he is human being sent to a time out, be firm. If he gets up put him back. If he keep getting up a second or third time take him back until he get the message. Good luck, I hope this works. what you did was right. Toddlers can pretty much understand what is right or wrong. Dont read out that they are good or bad, a short time ago say that what they did is wrong and dont do it again...they want to express autonomy. push and pull toys can truthfully help in their nouns. dont ask them with a yes or no question (do you want to bear a bath?) because they will surely say no...present choices so they'd have no other way out...
he's not too childlike for "time outs", so try that. You should not show affection either during or immediately after, person stern in voice and demeanor is the best. Make sure you remind him throughout the light of day to "be nice" and reward him each day beside praises when he has not bitten you . You're doing fine. One is too young to expect much contained by the way of discipline.
If you need a confidence boost, stop by the library and ask for books on child nouns so that you'll know better what to expect as junior grows up.
HERE-
hes 1 thats what they do. its called learning stage. so yes do do what your doing, after after you tel him no give him a hug. this is very mundane, i used to have the same problem beside my wee midget niklas. best of luck. mother hood...fun loL!
kim...terrible..
My girls are 3 & when they bit each other -we bit them back-sounds niggardly I know but it works! For his age he knows it's not nice try putting him in the elevated chair or crib for a "time out"
that's what they do at my daughters daycare. HES ONE!! hes gonna do that stuff!! if he can get out of that item hes really smart and you should be proud!! anyway talk to somone who has kids and not relations on here. cause u ask on here, expect a rude response and no help.
Timeouts are tremendously useful if you can keep him in attendance. Make sure you have a designated spot and make him aware from a childlike age that it's the rules. So you're going to just let him run around and do anything he wants? Call the police now and permit them take him away.
The 'No, that hurts', looking right in the eye, is exactly the benevolent of thing that we did with our kids. Perfect inherent consequence & perfectly fine reaction from your son. A human being should feel sad when they hurt someone. Awesome!
As for the sanctuary gate, have you tried communicating your disquiet to him in a similar way? A little exaggeration might backing get your point across. He doesn't want to do something that genuinely displeases you or make you feel afraid. He loves you, just resembling you love him (and, you have modelled for him, so far, that you want the people who you love to surface good, happy & safe).
If that still doesn't find the point across to him, he may simply not be developed enough to understand the peril he's putting himself in. At that point, it's up to you to keep him out of danger in other ways - maybe next to a safety gate that screw into the doorframe, instead of one that uses pressure to stay in place.
I'd say you pretty much enjoy it down pat. You say no, you tell him it hurts and after you let it go. He seem to get the message. One year old is the spotless time to begin discipline. Even a small time out could work as well, but if he get the message with what you are doing now next I'd leave it at that. You're doing well!
Also try looking into better gate that perhaps mount to the walls. That may help some.
And about D*Kat's answer: I'm sorry but I cannot stand it when people who don't have kids try to dispense advice that they read in books on developmental psychology. When she have her child and gets a chance to use her superior practice (rolls eyes) then she can come back and give an account us how it worked for her.
-Kat- I do have children of my own, I have three and I own the past five years as an experienced mother who has also thought I know all about parenting in the past I had children. I believe I know what I am talking more or less as I have gone through the toddler stage twice now. Nice try though :)
I ponder that what you are doing is a good thing. It is never too untimely to teach your child between wrong and right, and biting is wrong. Just tell him that it hurts you and next give him a few seconds to feel sorry.. and then smile, hug him, and play with him. He will stop biting if he understand that it really does hurt you, because he loves you and he does not like you to be hurt.. which is why he put his head down. Keep disciplining him resembling you are and be a little more forceful as he gets elder and understands a little better. I be like this with my daughter (she is one as well) and she is really okay behaved now, like mad more than my two year old sister who was spanked. I expect that if you are too forceful with your son he will get preventative and rebel against you but if you do not discipline him at all he will deduce that he can do whatever he wants and when you do try to be forceful he won't clutch you seriously. So you just have to stay right contained by between too much and too little and you've got it just right. thats righteous that you let him know it hurts. I would do time out. if it really gets uncontrolled. Because he is so young 2 mins in the time out stool would be more then enough. As for him pulling on the takings that is something he really should get time out for as soon as he starts. Don't loaf until it falls. Starting discipline now is great, as soon as they are young ample to get in trouble they are ripened enough to get some sort of punishment. If the biting continues even beside you saying it hurts I would start putting him in time out for that as powerfully. As he gets older you may want to start a black sitting duck chart. Every time out he gets time out he gets one black fleck, after so many black marks he go to bed for the rest of the day. As he gets elder you will cut down on the amount of black marks he is allowed. At the same time if he just gets < 3 marks a afternoon he gets a reward.
I have be studying so much on developmental psychology and other subjects..However because I want the best for my child, I havn't quite decided on BEST disipline...From what I own been reading, time-out if done correctly is very powerful. Now your son is one, some say this is too young for disipline, I believe children should swot their are consequences for their actions, Now your son may not initially realize he is hurting you...when he bites etc..crouch down to his level, remain peaceful with a strait face, look into his eyes and enunciate "Don't bite, biting hurts..if you do it agan your going in time-out.".After the age of 3 you can ask him to say appologize afterwards..and right to be heard "thank you for appologizing"
Take the your child into a private room, When a child is told to go into time-out, a parent should only articulate, "Time-out for." and state the particular offense. There should be no further discussion.
Stand outside an the partially enlarge door of the room or sit on the stairs & look at your watch Or some recommend using a kitchen timer with a bell. Set the timer for down the time-out and tell the child he must stay in time-out until the bell rings or until I come surrounded by.
While in time-out, (2 minutes per age) the child should not be permitted to talk, and the parent should not communicate beside the child in any way. The child also should not brand name noises in any road, such as mumbling or talking to himself. He or she should not be allowed to play with any toy (I suggest preparing the room beforhand), or blast on the furniture. Any violation of time-out should result in automatic resetting of the clock for another time-out interval (extra 1 minute).
After the time out go into the room.tell the child what demeanour was not acceptable. (not the child, the behaviour) and give an account them if the behaviour is repeated they will go pay for in time-out..and later they will lose a privilages for 3 days. TV, ride bike, stay up slow, toy (for children 6 & under, may still work with your daughter.) After the first tireing instance for you and them, their behaviour will start to improve. trust me : ) Your one year infirm will already start learning his negative appointments get him nowhere.
Avoid disiplining infront of others..
The goal when you discipline your child is to correct a behavior. With distractions, resembling an audience of friends or strangers in their home, it can be very insulting to actually accomplish your goal. The child is promising to focus more on his or her embarrassment* rather than on the real purpose for the discipline*. So thats why you should avoid disiplining infront of others, it may not with the sole purpose be a shame-producing way to discipline your child, but also an ineffective one.
It can be helpful near young children to remind them of the behavior you expect when you are in public. *Beforehand* This can abet avoid having to discipline your child in public or surrounded by company.
-Some important notes; You also should not discuss your child contained by a negative way contained by public, and especially in front of the child. Saying something as innocent as, "Sorry about the method she is behaving she isn't usually so badly behave ifront of guests“or worse "Joyce still has potty accidents,” or “Both my daughters are getting Fs contained by school” these are shame statements. and a passive/aggressive way of approaching parenting problems. Similarly, parents discussing or arguing about discipline within front of a child weakens authority. If you have disputes beside a spouse about the way you discipline your child, these conversations are best kept private, or save until after children have gone to bed.
Sibs if she has them OR friends; Choosing to discipline your child surrounded by front of other siblings is also a mixed bag. On the one hand, it can be beneficial for other children to see relatives rules consistently supported and enforced. Yet highly competitive siblings may “gloat” if one sibling gets surrounded by trouble. With older children, discipline is best a private matter between yourself and the child, and should not be discussed contained by front of siblings.
I know these are hard parenting tips & require patience, but I am sure you want the best for your child. Good luck!
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