Is it easier to have a two parent household?
Many of my friends that have children say that their boyfriends/husbands don't really help them with the baby anyways and they cause more stress than anything. Is this true?
Answers:
First of all, I'm so sorry for your loss. It must be terrible.
It's easier to raise a child in a healthy environment. That doesn't always mean a two parent household. If you can be in a healthy relationship with a man who can treat your children as his own, then of course, that would be very good for the girls and you.
But lot's of women do it alone and although it is hard, it can work out better than living in an unhappy or unhealthy home. I send you my love and my wishes. Good luck.
Other Answers:
It is MUCH easier! And I feel really bad for your friends who have husbands who don't help. My husband is a Godsend. He helps so much it gets annoying sometimes.
And it is also better for the children to have 2 parents.
You seem young to have 2 children, so best of luck to you. I know I couldn't have done it at your age.
no not really sometimes it can be but two parents in a family can just make it more hustle every day and i feel for you about your husband the hardest part about not having a man in the house is the discipline sometimes Depends on the father. I have helped equally from the minute our daughter was born. I cook, clean, play with her. I change her, feed her and take her to the doctors. I support all areas of parenting and myself and my partner dicuss what are child is doing, we offer each other lie in and take the strain whenver the other is stressed, ill or needs some time out.
I'd say its easier, there is no way I could have done it without her, nor her without me
I was a single parent for almost 5 years and find it easier to be a single mommy than have a man around. Since I have remarried, my daughter gets confused when I tell her one thing and then my hubby tells her something different. Plus, he is not around that much, so he is not that big of a help. Honestly 1 parent from my experience i moved my boyfriend in and he never helped with my son or house hold chores... Its easier to be alone i think (you know how you like sh!t done)
Very sorry to hear of you loss. What a tragedy. To answer you question, yes it is much easier to have 2 parents...if the parents love each other and are supportive of one another. I know some darn good Daddy's out there that do just as much, if not more for their kids as the mothers. I know some pretty crappy Mom's too, who keep popping out babies to fill a void, but when the void is still there, take it out on the kids.
Wow. You have been through alot already, and I can't imagine how stressful your life is at 19. God bless you.Ummm, the best advise that I can give you (and I will try to keep it short) is live next to a relative that will help you watch your children (Your mother, your Aunt, a sister, your boyfriend's Mother, ect.) while you go to work or go to school. Personally, I am against women dragging men into their children's lives when there is not father present, because children get attatched easily and do not deserve to a. Get attatched to a guy then have him leave because of a split up, B. Feel less important because Mommy is giving some guy most of her attention (I suffered from this personally as a child, I can't tell you how much it hurt to feel like I wasn't important to my mother) and C. While a woman is dating a guy, generally he will act really good to her children, then after they get married, will treat the children like a financial burden and a burden to his free time. (I also suffered at the hands of a step dad that treated me like a second class citizen) So, if you want to date and be in a relationship with someone, I suggest that: A. You NEVER bring him around your children, and keep your dating to once or twice a week, don't abandon the kids when your feeling that new relationship rush. B. You date the man for at least 2 years before you get into anything serious because by that time you know someone really really well. (Like wether or not they are abusive, have anger problems or alcohol problems, or if they are like child molesters) C. Then, if the guy is still around, he should be a good enough guy to introduce the children to slowly, and observe him with the kids before any huge steps. remember, you are setting the example for your children's future behavior. So, if you want your children to be married before moving in with a man, you should be too. Good luck to you and God Bless you and your children.
Yes very easy my parents both took care of me If one can't help me there is always a backup. : )
Never underestimate your parents
Peach
well i wouldnt say that my husband is the most helpful person of all but he does make things a little easier sometimes. i wouldnt say that he causes more stress, if anything he can be really helpful at times. i have a friend who is a single parent and I know that it is very hard on her. i give you props for being able to do it by yourself. It's easier if you both support each other in the displine and raising of the children. But as the mother, you usually make all decision and take care of the kids anyway, so technically you have the mother & father roll. So, no it's not alway easier because you may have conflict regarding the kids, but on the other hand as a single parent you're not questioned on your decisions that you make regarding your children in YOUR HOME!
Don't get me wrong, there are alot of REAL MEN out there that takes an active roll in raising their children as well.
I'm sorry to hear about the loss of your boyfriend.
my husband works alot.but he is a great help to me ,and our boys enjoy there time with him. i'm so sorry for your loss, sometimes it is easier for two parents, in my case my husband helps somewhat with our daughter and around the house, but i think i could raise her my self and less stress due to you get to pick all the rules yourself.
First I apologize for the loss I know it must be very hard and frustrating to be in this situation. Secondly I am a divorced from a man who was in the military I married him when I was 19 and I just didn't know any better. We also had 2 children togethor, he did not help out at all with the children, and I was a lot better off without him. However I thought I needed to have that male presence in the home also to make it easier, and I did it before I was ready to do it. It turned out to be a big mistake and heartache for myself and my children. I just turned 30yrs old and I was single for about 5yrs, it taught me that I could make it on my own and to trust my instincts not my wants or other peoples desires of what they thought was best for me. I finally met my now husband who is a great help and a wonderful support system for me and my children. I suggest you take some time to yourself and concentrate on you and your family, and when the time is right a person will come into your life who benefit you. You need the time not only to mourn your loss completely, but to also figure out what you need in your life. Your children need there mother, not a make shift family.
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