15 Year old son?

My son lives about 1000 miles away from me. Lives with dad but, would like to live with me and his sister. He won't leave though since, he lives in a small town that has all his friends and activities that he enjoys. I have explain that he can have all of this here as well but, he will not leave the Town that he has been raised in. Any comments? I call him twice a week. He is an excellant student that is also well behaved. I also visit him 3-4 times a year which, is not enough for me.

Answers:
Well the way u worded the question it sounds like u want him to move in with u more than he wants to move in with u. Look, I know that u miss him and he might miss u sometimese coz a mom's presence is different from a dad's but u're son is also in the time of his life that he would rather hang out with his friends than his parents. His peers are very important to him because he associates his peers with who he is and his identity. If u take that away from him now in a critical point of his life he might lose his self esteem and be confused as to his identity especially since he is going to have to remake his life over again.

he might want to move in with u later when he is sure of himself and when he can handle being away from his comfort zone but please don't force him to change his life for u. he is going to suffer the adjustment period and he might hate u for it. it also might bring down his grades.

i know that people think teens are selfish for not thinking of how parents feel but think to how confuse u were when u were a teenager and ask urself if u are willing to make ur boy suffer loneliness and friendlessness just so u can spend more time with him.

there are other ways u can increase the time u guys spend together but dont ask him to change his life just because u decided to change urs and live far away.

Other Answers:
He's old enough to be autonomous so if he doesn't want to go, you can't make him go. Maybe offer to fly him out over a chunk of summer vacation?

I really dont understand how a mother can leave her child in the first place. Sorry but that's my opinion. your lucky mom for having that son...maybe he will miss his dad..

if your son is thriving in his current environment then i would leave it be, he's happy, sure you might not be happy, but just think he could be doing alot worse, there's no need to upheave his life. what about you moving closer to him?

If he is happy and well adjusted, why mess with it. I know you have to be hurting, but is your guilt worth his well-being? Stop beating yourself up. If you make him move, he will only resent you for it. Stay in touch as you have. Try to visit him more often if you can. He must know that you love him. Prove it by letting him have the life he has grown into and is comfortable with. When HE is ready to come live with you, he will. In the meantime, keep telling him how much you love him and that whenever he is ready, he has a home with you and his sisters. He'll come around. And he'll appreciate you more for letting him make the decision.

it isn't supposed to be about you . if he wants to live with you he knows he can , right ? so instead of putting your needs ahead of his , let him have his life . you'll always be his mother .if you guilt him , he might resent you for it . save all your extra love for the grand kids . I AM SORRY TO SAY BUT, IT SOUNDS LIKE YOUR SON JUST DOES NOT WANT TO HURT YOU AND HE IS USING HIS"REASONS" TO EXPLAIN WHY HE "CAN'T" LIVE WITH YOU.
I CAN ONLY GUESS HOW MUCH YOU MISS HIM AND WOULD LIKE TO HAVE HIM LIVE WITH YOU BUT DO NOT PUSH TOO HARD OR IT MAY CAUSE A STRAIN ON THE RELATIONSHIP YOU DO HAVE WITH YOUR SON.

If you really love him and want him to live with you, you could always move close to his town. Why don't you move closer to him? Please don't tell me because of work. I would deliver newspapers or pick up garbage to live in a town with my children. I'm not trying to guilt you, I'm just curious how a mother justifies living a thousand miles away from her son and then complaining because at 15 he's not willing to give up everything he's ever known to be near her? Kids hear what you do far louder than what you say. You have not given up everything you know to be near him. That is what he sees. You are asking him to be mature enough to make a sacrifice you are not willing to make. I'm sure there are extenuating circumstances, and I am not trying to be holier than thou. Perhaps the arrangement you have is wonderful. If it is, don't complain. If it is not, do something about it and don't put all the pressure on a 15 year old.

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15 Year old son?

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