a 6 year old boy who acts completely different at his mother's house versus at our house (his father/my home)


Question:
My boyfriend has a 6 year old son who lives with his mother and we get every other weekend, all school vacations, and for most of the summer. He is in the whining phase which I hope passed quickly but in the last month or so he has become a bit more mouthy and when he doesn't get his way he has started the whole crying and whining act. Overall, he is one of the best behaved children I have ever seen and I have absolutely no complaints over the whining and occassional smart mouthed comment because we were expecting some changes in his behavior after his first year of school. The big problem we are having is the constant phonecalls from his mother because of his behavior at her house. He tells her that he hates her, threatens to kick his stepfather who he doesnt like at all and fights with his 3 year old half sister (which I think is normal) Tonight she says he said he was going to kill all of them and himself. This is NOT our boy! Any other familys encounter this? Therapy work?

Answers:
I agree with everyone else with one acception. I think he is lacking dicipline and structure at his mothers house. Children usually only act up like that when the adults present are not in charge. She is not following through with the structure and dicipline.

I don't know if that requires therapy for the child so much as the mom :-) for all of you to get on the same page.
The problem is that we teach people how to treat us and they've taught him much differently than have you. No, it's not your problem. My suggestion would be to see if you can obtain custody. It doesn't sound as though it's not a healthy place for him to be.

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